


Second to None

by olrazzzledazzzle



Series: Wish Upon A Star [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Financial Issues, Fluff, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Worried May Parker (Spider-Man), if u don’t like short chapters (2kish generally) then don’t read or wait until it’s finished, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-08-22 17:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16602614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olrazzzledazzzle/pseuds/olrazzzledazzzle
Summary: “Society has failed her. It has failed her precisely because there are people like her and Peter who have to worry about these things, even if this is a world where some people have everything they could ever want and more.”(or, the fic where peter and may must find a way to live in a world that’s too expensive for them.)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> (( **note: please don’t leave comments about the length of my chapters , i am well aware 2-3k isn’t a lot but i’m not used to writing chaptered fic yet (i usually only write one shots) and i’m not writing this to please readers who are used to 5k/10k etc words per chapter — i’m trying to update (fairly) consistently and it won’t happen if i write too much — i don’t want to get bored of my own story that means a lot to me, and keeping chapters shorter is what works best for me at the moment. maybe i’ll get better in the future who knows !! anyways thank u ! ))  
> —  
> aaa i’m very excited for this !! this is a theme that’s unfortunately very important and personal to me so i’m really excited to finally write it
> 
> i’ve never written something for this fandom before so it’ll probably be rly ooc lol but i’ve been really wanting to do a fic with this theme and i figured there wasnt a better set of characters to do it with than ones with canon financial issues
> 
> anyways,, enjoy !

Once her shift was over and all of her coworkers were finally finished chatting, May grabbed her phone, a smile on her face. She was exhausted, sure, but talking and laughing well after shifts were over made it worlds better. 

As she walked down to her car, she turned her phone back on. It’s not like she’s the most popular gal in town or anything, but only getting one message the whole day? It kind of sucked, in a strange, albeit funny way. 

Her heart sank when she read the name of who it was from after she got into her car, away from the biting winds of New York in the fall. 

At this point, the cold would probably hurt less. 

May, in all fairness, immediately knew what was coming when she saw the name. It had been an excruciatingly long shift, and that was really catching up to her right now — God, Saturday nights were always painfully long and dreary — and good Lord, were her feet suddenly _throbbing_. Now, all she wanted to do was curl up with a good book in the old recliner, maybe have a nice, hot cup of coffee, change into some of her favourite soft pyjamas… 

But, of course, that was way too much to ask for. 

Tonight was apparently going to be more of a scrounging every bank account she had for any pennies she may have left over from the month before (even though in the back of her mind, she knew she didn’t have shit leftover). She’d stay up much too late trying to negotiate a later date to pay with the landlord. 

She’s not even going to think about all of the tears that would most certainly be shed into her palms well into the wee hours of the morning. 

It always felt like the worst punch in the gut when she got a message from David. It seemed like nearly every month these days, she was left paying the rent later than what was expected of her — which, by the way, fucking sucks - late fees only made it a hundred times worse — and she couldn’t do shit about it. She was already working so much overtime, way too much for someone her age to be doing. 

She shouldn’t have to be doing this anymore.

Yet alas, here she is, driving her way home through the dark streets of New York City, mind plagued with a million painful thoughts that nobody — parental figures or otherwise — should have to ever think about. Society has failed her. It has failed her precisely because there are people like her and Peter who have to worry about these things, even if this is a world where some people have everything they could ever want and more. 

_There’s so many bills to pay that we’re behind on. Phone charges, water, power, heat, insurance..._

_Or what about the car that’s getting awful low on gas? Prices have gone up lately, and filling it full just isn’t an option right now…maybe I’ll have to put fifteen in soon. I guess it’s better than nothing, I have to get to work somehow…_

_Will we have to start packing everything we own — again — to find a new place? There haven’t been any offers lately...how would I break it to Peter?_

_How many extra shifts will I need to pick up to pay rent this month? Better yet, how many more will the hospital even let me take? I might need to pick up a second job, maybe I’ll need to update that old resume again…_

_Shit, and we could really do for some groceries soon, too. Am I going to be able to eat at all this week?_

_Will I be able to feed Peter?_

May’s throat briefly tightened, and her eyes stung in the way that was all too familiar these days, but she knew she couldn’t start crying now. She needed to pay attention and get home safely…as much as it seemed like the better option sometimes, even funerals were ungodly expensive — not to mention how much she just _couldn’t_ do that to Peter. 

Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as her mind buzzed. She should really be used to this by now, shouldn’t she? It’s not like it’s a surprise anymore. 

Except today…today was different. 

May’s phone beeped once again, and she figured it may have been Peter asking where she was, or maybe one of her friends from work. 

It wasn’t. 

Over Bluetooth, the car read the message aloud. “May, I know things have been pretty tough lately, what with just having the kid around and all, but I can’t keep having your rent in late. Something here needs to change. I’m sorry, but we’re going to need to evict you if you can’t keep getting it in. If it’s not in by Monday, you’ll have a two weeks to pack up and find a new place. We have people waiting for our apartments, and this is unacceptable.”

May’s lip trembled. This...this couldn’t be happening.

_Not again._

She can’t make up a grand in —what, what was today? Saturday? She couldn’t do that in two fucking days…Lord, she doesn’t even get _paid_ again until _next_ Friday! 

With a trembling voice, May muttered a small, “call David,” to the audio system. It was just two rings later that he picked up, and May immediately had to will herself not to cry. 

“May.” He said. He wasn’t the kindest guy in the world at the best of times, so this would probably be hard to get through without mid-way bursting into tears.

“David, I…” May’s voice trembled even worse. “We can’t just _leave_. That’s…it’s not realistic right now, you know how damn hard I work…” 

She pulled into the parking lot of the complex, and she sat, thanking God it was pitch black out. Hopefully nobody passing would catch a glimpse of her crying her heart out if it was dark enough. 

“I do, but there are people waiting for contracts with us, and we know they’ll be able to pay rent consistently. I know, I know, everything with Ben and Peter, I’ve heard it all, May. We can’t keep letting you off the hook. This is the real, cruel world.” 

“I know,” May’s voice was hardly above a whisper. She faintly wondered if he even heard her say anything. “I know, Dave, but _please_ , I can’t do this to Peter, not _again_ …”

“I’m so sorry, May, I really am.”

“I don’t get paid until next Friday, and we could really use some need groceries soon, don’t you think it could wait that long? I swear- I… I’ll have it in on time next month, I’ll pick up more shifts…” 

A beat. Then another. “I’m sorry, May. Monday at the latest. If not, it’s two weeks and we’ll bring an inspector over to make sure everything’s gone. Have a good night.” She didn’t have the heart to reply. Who could? 

So, the line went dead, and all she was left with was pure, ringing silence and her own mind. 

May had to wonder how sorry he really was. 

How could she _do_ this to Peter? After everything _he’s_ been through? 

Silently, tears streamed down her face, and all she could do was tilt her head back into the headrest and contemplate how many ways their lives were going to fall apart once again when the morning came.  



	2. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> may tells peter the message she got

It was nearly midnight when May finally left her car to go inside. She’d dried her eyes, plastered a sickly smile on her face and prayed to God Peter was asleep. Tonight wasn’t a patrolling night, as far as she knew, which — honestly? — she didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

It’s just…she’d need to break it to him. Soon. And she really didn’t know if she had the heart to see him without breaking down completely. 

Because realistically? They were going to be evicted. 

Within _two weeks_. 

Fuck, and what would they do? Inflation’s horrible right now, and May highly doubted there were any other apartments for sale st the moment. Especially within their price range (though, if it were up to May, it’d be zero)? Not happening. 

Maybe a motel again? Or a shelter?

May shuttered at the thought. She can’t do this to Peter. 

Her mind briefly wandered to the last time they’d spent time in motel rooms. Ben had passed the better part of just a few months prior, Peter was just — what? Thirteen years old at the time? — and it was possibly the worst thing May had ever put him through. 

She remembered the way Peter's eyes just…fell at the news. Those few weeks, she’d never seen Peter so lifeless. 

Now, at least, he had his Spiderman thing, and patrolling, and Tony- oh, thank Heavens for Tony. She didn’t know what she’d do without him sometimes. It’s not like it was her choice, but sometimes it really was better for Peter to spent time over with Tony instead of at home. These days, May was hardly ever home, and she knew Peter needed someone like him in his life, especially after Ben…

She felt tears pricking the backs of her eyelids once again. 

She really cared for this kid, alright? Even if he wasn’t really hers, he was enough, and she’d rather die for him than see him unhappy, or sick, or hurt, or _anything_. He was so important to her. 

May unlocked the door hastily, and pushed it open. It was dark inside. Hopefully that’s meant Peter was sleeping. 

She flicked on a few of the lights so she could maneuver her way around without stumbling around too much. She kicked her shoes off, shimmied her way out of her coat to hang it up in the closet. 

“May?” 

Fuck. Did she really have to do this _tonight?_

“Hey, Pete. Have you slept at all?” She looked up at the teenager. He was wearing pyjamas and his hair was disheveled as ever. Hopefully that meant he got a bit of sleep at least. 

Peter shook his head, a bit shyly. “No, I..didn’t know where you were. Thought you worked ‘till ten?”

May walked slowly over to the couch. “I did, yes.” 

She couldn’t do this. 

“It’s past midnight. Where were you?” He asked, voice quiet. “Had a date?” Both of them cracked a smile. 

Even though Peter didn’t have a clue what was going on, he could feel the tenseness is the air. It made him a bit anxious, if he was being honest. 

“No, I didn’t have a date. I wish. I was just in the car for a long time.”

Peter simply hummed. “At least you’re home. I’ll go to bed now, if you want.” 

“I..how about you come and sit down a second, actually? I need to talk to you.” 

Anxiety coursed through Peter's veins at the last statement, and he tried recounting any bad things he’d done in the past few weeks. “I didn’t do anything!” Peter exclaimed, his eyes wide. “Honestly, I-”

“You didn’t do anything. It’s not about anything you did, alright? I just have to tell you something.”

Peter hesitantly walked towards the small, tattered couch and sat down next to his aunt. “What…happened?” 

May swallowed, then patted the cushion right next to her. “Come closer.” Peter did so, and leaned his head on her shoulder. Hey, it was getting late, and he was tired! “I got a text after work.” 

“Uh huh,” Peter yawned shortly, nodding against her shoulder. May shifted so she was able to hold onto Peter. She wanted him to feel at least a bit comforted with what she was about to say. “What’s new?”

“It was from David.” 

“Oooh, _David?_ Who’s that?” Peter joked, smiling up at his aunt. “You just told me you didn’t have a date!” 

“David is our landlord, honey. Not my boyfriend.” 

Peter deflated. “Oh.” 

May couldn’t tell if he’d made the connection yet. “And he has residents that want to move into his places,” she swallowed thickly, “that are able to pay more consistently than I can.” 

Immediately, May felt Peter stiffen in her arms, and she knew he knew, now, what was really happening. May’s chin started to tremble once again, and she figured Peter probably wasn’t too far off from doing the same. “I have until Monday to make it up, but I don’t get paid until Friday, and I’ve already tried talking with him…” 

Peter felt memory after memory flood back at May’s words. He remembered how much he hated the hotel’s, how miserable those few weeks were for him. He surely wouldn’t be able to keep patrolling if they didn’t have a home to go back to, he probably wouldn’t be able to keep up his grades—

What about Tony? He could never tell Tony about this. But…surely he couldn’t keep going to the workshop, right? That’d make him suspicious. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Peter supposed the only way to avoid all of of that would be to help out more. After all, he _was_ sixteen. Plenty of sixteen year olds had jobs! 

That was about the last thing May had expected from her nephew. He’d always been someone extraordinarily caring and selfless, but in regards to _money?_ He was just a _kid_ , for Christ sake, this is about the last thing he should ever have to worry about! “Honey-”

“No, May, really! I-I’m sixteen now, I’m able to get a job if you need, honestly-” 

“Peter, you’re just a kid. This isn’t something you need to worry about, alright? You have a million other things going on in that little head of yours, y’know? School, Spider-man, Tony, whatever _teenager issues_ you’ve got,” May teased, hoping to elicit at least a small response of positivity. “I’m just letting you know…we may need to start packing soon, alright? But I’ll let you know. I’m so sorry, honey...” 

_I am so sorry I’ve failed you._

“It’s alright,” he said softly, squeezing his eyes shut. This couldn’t be happening. It was anything _but_ alright. “Really, if you need me to do something, I can do it. Maybe I can talk to Tony and see about getting a paid internship or something? Or I can start patrolling less and get a job…” 

“Peter…” 

“Will…we need to stay in another hotel again?” 

“I don’t know, sweetie. I really don’t. You know I’ll try my best.” 

Needless to say, neither of them slept soundly that night.


	3. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter wakes up late...like, two pm late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this is pretty filler ngl)
> 
> anyways i’m hoping to have this finished by next week and i’m trying to get done chapters as fast as i can !! thanks for all of the support so far !! <33

Peter woke up Sunday morning with a pounding headache. The sun was blinding as it poured into his room. Why was it so quiet? Usually May had the TV on on Sunday mornings, or she cooking, or even talking on the phone. 

But now? It was eerily silent. 

Peter tried to sit up, but closed his eyes and fell back into his pillow due to the throbbing in his head. His stomach growled, too. What time was it, anyway? Why was he so hungry??Reaching out blindly to grab his phone on the nightstand, he got it quickly and turned it on.

It was already almost two o’clock in the afternoon. 

On top of that, he had tons of missed messages. Shit. 

Peter opened his messages, eyes squinted. He had three missed from Tony, two from Happy, one from May, and about three hundred from his chat with Ned and MJ. Jesus Christ, they have to calm down. 

Three messages from Tony was what really caught his eye (and not the abundance of messages from the group, believe it or not). If ever, Tony usually only messaged once (and that was a rarity in and of itself, honestly), and that was for reasons like he had pressing work to do, or he needed to come and discuss something or other with the man. 

Furthermore, as far as Peter remembered, he didn’t have to do anything today, especially nothing at the Tower…right? So what would Tony want?

_9:54AM  
Hey kid. Don’t forget you have to come to the lab today so we can start new stuff on your suit!_

_11:32AM  
Happy’s been outside for half an hour, kid. Hurry up! _

_12:56PM  
Did you forget about today? You still asleep? Call me when you’re up._

Shit. Three whole messages now made sense — he’s never simply up and forgotten about going to the lab before! 

Peter scrambled to dial Tony’s number and get out of bed. He still felt awful, and he could really use a shower, but he figured tending to Tony was probably more important. He put it on speaker and let it ring. 

After a few moments, Tony picked up with a short laugh. “It’s almost two in the afternoon, kid. Did you _seriously_ just wake up?”

“Don’t laugh at me! I was up late last night.”

Peter didn’t particularly _want_ to relive what happened last night — in fact, he’d rather do _anything_ but remember it — but it was the truth, and lying to Tony Stark was _not_ something he too badly wanted to do right now. 

“Doing…?” 

“I was just…up with May. I- sorry, I really didn’t mean to keep you guys waiting. I’ll get ready and, uh, I guess come over if you want?”

Tony hummed in satisfaction. “Happy came back hours ago, but I can send him back if you really want to come and work.” 

Peter squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t have Happy _redrive_ back over here for him! That’s so incredibly rude… 

“Shit- I mean, I didn’t say that, shoot! I don’t want to do that to him, I’ll just take the bus or something. I’ll figure it out.” 

“Peter, it’s not that big of a deal. You do realize it’s his _job_ to drive you back and forth to the Tower? He gets paid a lot to do it, too, I’m quite sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Peter winced slightly at Tony’s mention of Happy’s salary. Why couldn’t May drive little teenagers around everywhere and get paid pathetic amounts to do it? “I- yeah, I guess, if you’re really sure. Sorry again, Mis’er Stark, I don’t know why I slept so late. It won’t happen again!” 

“Sure it won’t, kid. Just be ready for, say, is two good enough? Two thirty?” 

“It’s one fifty already. Please do two thirty.”

“Got it. Get ready, kid. See you in a bit.” 

“You too, Mister Stark!” 

The phone line went dead, and Peter sat down again on his bed. Hastily, Peter clicked on Happy’s message thread, but quickly exited out — he didn’t want to read Happy telling him he was late and then feeling guilty about it all over again. 

Then, he opened the thread he had with May. His heart hurt to no end at the simple thought of her. Last night, when she held Peter so tight, he felt so secure…it had almost been just as if everything was alright again, back when Ben was alive and everything was perfect. 

_Almost._

The message from May was short and sweet, and it made Peter want to cry all over again. 

_6:16AM  
Good morning, honey! I know ou won’t see this for a while, but I took another shift this morning, and I won’t be home until late tonight again. I know you’re going to Tony’s so you shouldn’t have to worry about needing anything to eat. I know he feeds you well!! I’ll see you later. I love you so much! <333333_

Peter put his phone down next to him on the bed, and looked around at his bedroom. 

Look at all of the expensive shit he had around, that he really never needed? All of his posters, books, trinkets. He could easily sell lots of this stuff for tons. At least that’d save from him having to pack everything up. 

Where are they going to go? To a shelter, where everyone would recognize him as Spiderman? Wouldn’t that make top headlines everywhere… 

_Breaking news! Spiderman lost his apartment and now he’s too poor to afford living in a house. Check out the pics here!_

Peter cringed at the thought, and quickly got out of bed. That could _never_ never become his reality. 

Shit. He was totally losing track of time. Happy was going to be here in a half hour and he hadn’t even showered yet. He seriously needed to get ready.

And maybe, if he’s lucky, even get some painkillers into his system so he can get rid of this nasty ass headache.


	4. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter asks tony about getting a real internship with si

Happy was perfectly on time with picking Peter up, and Peter was, honestly, so ready to get out of the house. His head was still sort of pounding behind his forehead, which really sucked, but maybe Mister Stark would cut him some slack today. That’d be nice. 

The drive was so long…at least, that’s what it felt like. Maybe it’s just because Peter couldn’t help but think about a million things a minute. He worried a bit for May, too…how would she be doing today? Would she try and look for another new job? In the back of Peter’s mind, the very selfish, nagging part of it, didn’t want her to get another one. He spent so little time with her as it was, and it sucked, because he really loved her. And he missed her. 

And it kind of felt like she was slipping right through his fingers, just like Ben had. 

He couldn’t let that happen, which is exactly what another job would do to them, even if it meant possibly getting to stay in the apartment a bit longer. 

That’s why Peter planned on asking Tony about some sort of real internship. A paid one. Obviously he wouldn’t say anything about the eviction — Peter shuttered at the word. He hated it: eviction. It sounded so horrible…so poor — but maybe he could play it off about wanting experience for future jobs. That was believable, right? At least it was half true. 

Alright, maybe, like, a quarter true, but _still_. 

(Besides, Tony was kind of awful at reading people. He’d never know.) 

Just under three o’clock was when Happy arrived — again — at the Tower. Peter quietly thanked Happy for the ride as they walked inside together, and Peter couldn’t stop fidgeting with his fingers the whole elevator ride up. 

“Hello, Peter!” FRIDAY exclaimed as he stepped inside the elevator. “Boss is in the lab. Would you like me to take you there?” 

“Please ‘n’ thanks, Fri.” 

“No problem, Peter!” 

The elevator ride was too short for Peter’s liking, if he was being entirely honest. He didn’t want to ask Tony, not by any means, for an internship (how selfish did it sound to _ask_ for a job? He didn’t want to seem like he was suddenly using Mister Stark’s company for money…), but it’s what he had to do. Hours wouldn’t change, most likely, and it’d take so much pressure off May. 

Peter stepped out of the elevator in silence, and walked into the laboratory. The path was so familiar, and usually he’d be bouncing off the walls with excitement to be here (it never got any less exciting!), but today…wasn’t a great day. 

“Ah, nice to finally have you here, Sleeping Beauty. How was your night?” Tony called from across the room, and Peter couldn’t help the smile that slowly grew on his face. God, Tony could really get him out of any bad mood, huh? 

“It was good. The morning and most of the afternoon was pretty good, too,” joked the teenager as he approached Tony, “what about you?” 

“Same old, didn’t sleep much but what’s new?” 

Peter stood stiff for a few seconds until Tony finally realized. “You gonna come work or are you just gonna watch me the whole time?” 

Right. He was here to work, not to stand around. 

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course, sorry, Mis’er Stark.” He said quickly, slinging his backpack off of his shoulder and standing next to Tony. ”What did you want to do today?”

“Was gonna work on your suit with you for a little bit, then maybe see about a new phone design? I want to upgrade, y’know?” Tony rambled, then shook his head. “Getting ahead of myself. Spiderman first. Want to get your suit out and we can get started?” Tony motioned to Peter’s backpack that was now long-forgotten on the floor, and then turned back to the work table. 

Peter froze. 

_His suit._

He forgot his fucking suit! 

“Uh,” he swallowed nervously. This was possibly the worst fucking day in the history of the life of Peter Parker, and that was saying _a lot_. “Well, y’see, Mister Stark,” Peter started, swaying back and forth, and proceeded to very rapidly say, “I-sort-of-maybe-forgot-to-bring-it-here-with-me.” 

“English, kid,” Tony looked up at Peter. “You what?” 

“I…I don’t have it with me.” 

Peter didn’t have the heart to look Tony in the eyes at the moment. Mostly in fear of disappointment. Maybe a bit of a fear of humiliation in there too, but what’s new? 

“Why not?” Tony wasn’t at all disappointed, but rather just a bit confused. He remembered telling Peter that’s what they’d work on, didn’t he? Hm. Maybe not. Whatever, maybe next time Peter was by. Wasn’t a big deal. 

“I guess I just forgot it- I…I don’t really know.” Peter’s face was burning red, he could tell, and he didn’t even need to look in a mirror to know. 

This was so awful. 

“You’re not too hot today, huh, Parker? You sick or something? Usually you’re not so…forgetful?” 

That was _the_ understatement of the century. “I know, I know- I won’t forget next time, I promise-”

Tony, for lack of a better word, was _beyond_ confused with how Peter was acting today. He was just _off_ , like when something just doesn’t feel quite right. 

Maybe this was the wrong kid. 

He’d never heard of Peter Parker sleep in, not in the almost _two years_ Tony’s known him, and he’d never forgotten his suit, either. Something surely had to be on his mind. 

“It’s alright, kid, I’m not mad,” Tony said with a small laugh, of — disbelief? Is that what that was? “Like, really, really not mad. You seem a bit…I don’t know. Weird.” 

He was acting weird? Shit. Maybe Tony was better at reading people than Peter thought. 

“I know, I guess May wasn’t home to remind me to wake up and bring my stuff. Weird of me, huh?” Peter tried to joke, but it probably only sounded a bit sour at best. 

Tony shook his head. “Let’s get to work.”

It had been almost two hours worth of silent working next to each other, which made Peter slowly but surely feel a bit better, (thank God Peter brought his homework, because he would’ve totally forgotten about it had he not had it here) but Lord, Peter’s mind was most certainly _not_ thinking solely about balancing these chemical equations, or finding the volume of whatever 3D shape that was presented to him on his sheet. 

Better now than never. 

“Mis’er Stark?” He sounded so weak. 

Tony simply hummed in acknowledgement. Peter knew he was listening intently, considering how weird he’d been today. Tony figured Peter really needed someone who’d really listen to him right now. Maybe he was having some sort of, like, tenth-of-his-life crisis or something. Tony had no idea, really. 

“I have a question.”

Another hum. 

Peter sat for almost a minute in pure silence, his pencil having been dropped long ago on the table. He didn’t know how to word what he wanted to say. 

“I…think I’d like an internship here. A _real_ one.” 

Peter bit his tongue so he wouldn’t mention the part he really wanted to mention. The dreaded part about the cash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for all of the support !! last chapter for today i promise aha


	5. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and tony have a (short — so, so short) talk about the internship

“A real internship, huh?” Tony looked up, a smile widening rapidly on his face. “What made you decide this?”

Peter sighed in relief that Tony wasn’t opposed to the idea. Well, at least his face didn’t show so, which had to be a start. 

“Um,” Peter started, trying to play it off as best he could, “I was just thinking- like, for resumes and stuff,” he said quietly, shrugging his shoulders. “It’d look good, y’know, if it’s really official?” 

Tony gave Peter a small, half-smile and nodded. “It would be, yes,” he laughed, “but I sure hope you’ll only work for me in the future. I’m a selfish man with many needs, ‘n’you being on my team forever and ever is one of them, alright?” 

Peter nodded stiffly. He wasn’t exactly _planning_ on working for anybody else, but he hasn’t really realized how ridiculous he probably sounded for asking for a real internship. He wouldn’t need to look good for a company he was already technically working for. 

Which left the part he needed — getting paid for it — completely up in the air, and like hell Peter was going to ask to get paid. 

Well…he sort of was, just in a less…direct way. 

What should he do now? “Not much would really change, unless you, y’know, don’t _want_ to keep working with me,” Tony teased, nudging Peter slightly.

Wow, this kid…really wasn’t having it today? 

All Peter could really do was stiffly laugh and shake his head, “no, no, I want to keep doing this,” he assured quickly, “I…really like it.” 

Tony grinned. “Me too.” 

There were a few moments of silence until Tony spoke once again. “Anyways, you’re sort of special anyways. You can work as much or as little as you want, within reason, obviously. I suppose just getting paid for it is the only real difference.” 

Peter tried so hard to reason with himself in the few moments he had, but he just couldn’t figure out how. He’d have no choice but to tell Tony about what was going on and that just wasn’t an option, even if Tony was a _billionaire_ and could (and probably gladly would) change their lives in a heartbeat. Fuck his stupid pride. “I…guess so, yeah, it’s fine if not, or if you don’t want me to or whatever,” he said, unsure, “I guess I just expected it to be, like, more real _work_ , “ Peter lied smoothly, which didn’t normally happen. He damn well knew the changes that would or wouldn’t happen. ”I wouldn’t want to, like, get paid for doing homework here, y’know?” 

Tony couldn’t help but laugh a bit at Peter’s reasoning. “That makes sense,” he said. “if it still sounds like something you’d want to do, we can certainly talk with Pepper and see about getting you to do a bit of different work sometimes. Sound good?” 

Tony couldn’t really help but feel like there was something further going on, though he didn’t have the heart to ask. Deep down, maybe he even knew what it was. 

“Yeah, I think so, I’d like to do more stuff around here,” he smiled up at Tony. He didn’t dare mention the other part. 

“I think you’d be pretty good at doing some more here too,” said Tony, smiling back. “Have you thought about what you’d want to do then?” 

Peter shrugged. He hadn’t really expected to get this far, if he was being honest. “I…don’t know, I didn’t really think I’d get this far, so..” 

Tony spared half a glance at Peter before looking back down to his work. “Why?” 

Once again, the teenager shrugged. He knew Tony wouldn’t be looking. “I don’t know that either,” he frowned. “I guess…I just didn’t know you’d say yes?” 

If Tony didn’t know something was seriously up with Peter before, he sure as hell knew now. But he’d leave it, because whatever it was probably wasn’t anything particularly important, right? He was sure it’d pass, and if it didn’t, Peter talked to him all the time. Peter trusted him. “Well, I did, so how about we talk a bit about it and go talk to Pepper later, huh?” 

“Yeah, yeah- yes, of course! Thank you!” 

Tony simply chuckled. “No problem, kid. Now get your homework done. Faster you do it, faster we can talk to her, sound good?” 

“Yep!”


	6. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and may have to move out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heccccc sorry it’s been so long !!! i was in a musical and that was main priority for last month , but i’m still really happy to write this and i’m excited to rly finally get into the Meat of it u know !!! apologies it’s short, i just kinda end them when it feels natural lol (plus this was meant to be a one shot, so eh) 
> 
> anyways when this is over i’m probably going to repost this in one chapter, so look out for that ig ? 
> 
> anyways anyways enjoy !!

The two weeks came and went faster than May and Peter had ever expected them to. Various notes and warnings arrived and as much as May had tried to keep Peter out of it, he couldn’t help but weasel his way into the business that wasn’t at all meant for him. 

Regardless, it was the first Sunday of December and the two of them were completely packed up. The apartments walls were just bare skeletons of what used to be something so lovely now, and Peter prayed to God the next tenants would appreciate, or just simply acknowledge, all of the memories that still resonated — and would resonate forever — in between the blank walls. Nothing could ever change that, no matter who moved in or what happened to the place. Christmas’s with Ben and May, dinners with Tony, Ned coming over and them doing God-knows- _what_ together. Now...Peter supposed it was time to make new memories in somewhere much less pleasant, no matter how much he didn’t want to. 

The only good part about this whole thing was Peter did end up getting a paid internship with SI, and that was a really exciting thing to share with May. She absolutely lit up with relief when she found out, because it meant it wouldn’t stress Peter out too much. He’d be doing exactly what he was comfortable with while getting paid for it. Win-win, right?

Except…it just wasn’t soon enough. Sure, the internship paid really (like, _really_ ) well, but it was a monthly salary, and he was still three weeks from getting his first cheque. 

Which essentially meant at least three weeks of having nowhere to live. 

Peter had a duffel bag filled with as many clothes as he could fit, and two suitcases with various trinkets of both his and May’s stuff — the really important stuff that they just wouldn’t be able to live without, like necessary documents, old stuff of Ben’s, various prized possessions. 

Essentially everything else they had, though? It was all somewhere deep down in the outdoor garbage bin, never to be seen or used again. 

That was Peter’s least favourite thing about moving. It always meant getting rid of stuff that meant something to him, and with every stuffed animal he didn’t have room in his bags for, or every old piece of schoolwork he just couldn’t fit into anything, his heart broke a bit more. 

You can imagine his heart being shattered by the end. 

Even some of Ben’s stuff had to go, and that was possibly the worst part. It’s clear why. 

Everything got stuffed into the trunk and the backseat of May’s small car, anywhere they could fit. Clothing, personal items, blankets, pillows, trinkets and the like we’re fit into every nook and cranny in that damn vehicle. Where would they even _keep_ all of this shit??

Even Peter’s suit was tucked away somewhere deep in the car, probably not to be accessed for weeks to come. It sucked. 

It was nearly two in the afternoon on Saturday, and May and Peter had just driven out of the parking lot of the apartment complex for the last time. 

Peter’s heart hurt. 

“Where are we going to go?” Peter didn’t sound nearly as confident as he had in his head. 

“Shelter for tonight, and probably the rest of the week, at least. It’s just a couple minute drive from here.” May didn’t look at Peter once the entire drive. She couldn’t. 

All Peter did was nod, and look straight ahead, dreading the arrival.   
~  
May was right. The travel was only a good ten minute drive from the old complex, which was good. Peter could still get to school easily, and the lab was essentially the same distance away than it was, before. May parked in the parking lot and unbuckled her seatbelt. 

“You know I love you, right, Peter? I know this is hard, it’s so hard, and I..I am so sorry we have to do this. If I could change it, I would…”

Peter swallowed thickly. He didn’t want to cry. “I know.” 

May looked over at Peter, who was staring straight ahead, evidently blinking back tears. “Come here, my sweet boy,” she muttered, leaning across the console and wrapping her arms around Peter. He looked so small. 

Any composure Peter may have had before she hugged him went right out the goddamn window. 

Then and there, Peter broke completely, and he didn’t know if he’d ever be fixed. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, rubbing her hands across the teen’s back, trying her best to comfort him. “I love you. I larb you, even.”

“Larb you too, May.” 

“We should go in.”

“I know.” 

With one last short squeeze, May let go of Peter and opened her door. Peter’s eyes were fully still red, so he put his hood up, picked up his backpack and phone, and trailed behind her, wiping his eyes as much as he could with his sleeve. His skin was getting bothered by the fabric rubbing his eyes but that was currently the least of his worries. 

What was priority was the fact that he no longer had a house to go home to after school. He no longer had a stable place for Happy to pick him up or drop him off at anymore, he had nowhere to invite Ned over to anymore, he had _nothing_ anymore. 

Peter was sick to his stomach with fear. 

His worst nightmare that he’d already lived out was coming true. Again. 

Would he even make it out alive?


	7. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and may have an argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn’t really expect this to go this way tbh, and it kind of just...happened? but i’m actually kind of happy with it and i’d consider it to be pretty damn realistic to what a real life teenager would do (tw for an argument ?)

It was brighter than Peter expected inside the building. Children’s art decorated the walls and it already seemed as if Christmas was coming the next day. At least it was a positive looking place, right? Maybe Peter wouldn’t feel as bad in here if it looked like somewhere maybe he would want to stay. 

May walked up to the desk and grinned at the woman sitting before her. “Hello?”

“Hi! Are you here today for a visit, or will you be staying with us?” The lady asked shortly, looking up from her computer. Peter rolled his eyes. 

May smiled again, and quickly said, “I’m staying here for a bit.” 

“Alright, awesome! Welcome! Can I have your name and phone number? We’ll make sure to get you situated to a room as fast as possible.” As May recited her name and number back to the woman, Peter, many feet behind her, trying his best to blend into anything around him. Maybe disappear entirely. That’d be nice. 

He briefly wondered if anybody would recognize him here. It’s entirely possible, he figures, considering the fact that he and Tony have been seen together before, and he had a fairly decent social media following because of that. Maybe he could try playing it off as visiting someone? 

God, why was he even worrying about this now? It’s not like May wasn’t here too, and he figures he may as well at least pay somewhat attention, or at least stop being so bothered by what was going on. 

It’s just…he didn’t want to be _that_ kid, not anymore, at least, considering he sort of already was. 

Before Peter could even realize, May was nudging him to follow her, and they were being led down corridor after corridor to their room. Peter, as much as he loved May, hoped they’d, at the very least, get separate beds. And maybe some sort of dividing wall. That’d be nice. 

What? He was a teenager, he liked his privacy! 

As they arrived just outside the door, Peter realized he had no idea what he was really expecting. Would it actually look nice? Would it be something like the old motels? He had no idea. 

The first thing Peter noticed was how white it was. There was next to no colour in the room, to the extent of it being near-blinding. Why couldn’t people without homes (he was still struggling to accept this) at least get a bit of _colour_? in their lives? 

May and Peter were soon left alone in the small ( _very small_ ) room, and all they did was share a few glances with each other before May was tearing up all over again. 

Damn it all, Peter thought, he really just wanted this whole thing to be over with. 

“I don’t really know what we’ll do with all of our stuff,” May started shortly, “I don’t know if we’re able to bring all of our belongings in here, because I hope we won’t be here that long. I can’t leave it all in the car though, not near the hospital all day..” 

Peter pondered for a moment. “I could probably take some of my stuff to the Tower if it’d make it any easier. I…can try my best not to tell Tony. It’d be a more permanent place to leave some stuff, right?” 

The two of them sat on the small couch stiffly, and May nodded. “I think that’d be a good idea, yeah. You…you haven’t told Tony yet? Why” 

Peter shook his head. “I don’t plan on it.” 

“Pete..” 

“May, you know what he’d do.” Peter said, matter-of-factly. “He’s a fucking _billionaire_ -”

“Language!” 

“And I don’t want to be _that_ kid to him, especially considering I already am. He doesn’t even know about the last time, and I’d sure like to keep it that way.” 

May already knew what he meant, she didn’t have to ask what _that kid_ entailed, but it still made her sick to her stomach at how hurt Peter sounded. “You know he wouldn’t look at you any differently. And if he does, maybe he’s not the best person to be around anymore…” 

Peter stood up from the couch, shaking his head. “No, we’re not blaming _him_ here, that’s not at all what I’m trying to get at! He’s done the world for me, and we both damn well know he’d pay for everything we need, and no matter how much you may think it’s a good idea, I am not fucking alright with that happening.” 

“I never said I wanted that, what made you think this?” 

“Hmm,” Peter hummed sarcastically, “gee, I don’t know, how about your, _‘you should tell Tony, he won’t think of you any different!’_? It’s fucking ridiculous.” 

May stood up as well, her hands on her hips. “I don’t know what your issue is right now, Peter, but this isn’t acceptable. I am trying my damn well hardest-” 

“I’m well aware what you’re doing, thank you.” 

“Well, then you shouldn’t be acting this way! I’m just as upset to be here!” 

“I never said you weren’t!”

“Then stop implying that!” 

“All I said was I can take some of our shit to the Tower. I never asked about what you think I should or shouldn’t tell Tony, and I’d rather you didn’t try to decide that for me! It’s my own damn decision if he knows about me, not yours!” 

May huffed, snaking her head in utter disbelief. How did she even respond to this? This kid- this lovely, happy, bright kid, never yelled at her, and she had no idea how to react. She couldn’t tell him to go to his room, he didn’t have a car to go anywhere to cool off at. “Listen to me,” she started, taking a step closer to Peter, “and listen to me well.” 

Peter took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. He never asked for this. 

“I don’t know who taught you to talk to me like this, but it sure as hell wasn’t me. This is completely and utterly inappropriate behaviour from you. I am well- _well_ aware how hard this situation is on both of us, but that’s absolutely no excuse to yell at me. None. Got it?” 

Peter stood blankly. 

“And whoever the hell taught you to cuss at me like that? It needs to stop, too. Not cool.” 

Shaking his head in sheer disbelief, Peter picked up his backpack and stormed past May, right through the door that wasn’t his own. 

He didn’t know where he was going to go, but it was damn well going to be _anywhere_ but here.


	8. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter visits the tower in hopes to cool down after the argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of fillerish but also quite nice !! it’s like double the length of my usual chapters which isn’t saying a lot but i’m quite happy so 🤷♀️🤷♀️

May knew way better than to be mad at Peter. He’d never really acted like that before, which was her first reason, but she, herself, had grown up around poverty and money issues and for as long as she could remember, she couldn’t always get everything she wanted. Oftentimes, especially the past couple years without Ben, she’d have to do whatever she could to get money to pay for the apartment, for bills, groceries. So she knew what Peter was going through. She knew how hard it was, and for that, she couldn’t blame him. 

That didn’t necessarily make May less frustrated with how he acted with her, though, because she knew she was more worthy than yelling fits, and that’s exactly how he was acting. Maybe it was just a one-off thing? God, she hoped so. She didn’t know if she could deal with a newly-permanent cranky and yelling child like that all the time. 

In the meantime between the argument and having to leave for her shift, May brought a few of their bags inside — clothes, utensils, cooking supplies, the essentials. Then she figured she may as well message Peter so he knew where to come back. “Please come back before my shift is over in the morning. I don’t want to worry my whole shift. At least try to find somewhere warm if you aren’t back soon. We’ll talk later. I love you.” 

Peter didn’t know where he was at all. He’d walked and walked and walked until his stomach started to rumble, so he took a short break, and kept walking, eventually finding a small park with nobody around. He didn’t have any change on him to buy any food considering his hunger…not like May would really appreciate that, he was sure. 

He found a bench and sat down on it, shivering. It was December now, and that meant it was snowy and icy _cold_ , nevermind the fact that he was part goddamn _spider_ and got colder than most normal people do. This wasn’t really ideal at all. Why had he _left_? Why was he so stupid? 

The music in his ears temporarily stopped as he got May’s message, and he checked his phone to see who it was. In all fairness, he figured it was May who messaged him considering what happened. 

Her words felt like a huge punch in the gut. He hadn’t really meant to, like, _worry_ her so much, and he didn’t want her to be worried about him his whole shift, either. Fuck, what did he even say? He just felt guilty now. “sure. i’ll be back later…sorry.” 

There. It was like a bandaid; he just had to pull it off and then it was done. 

Maybe he could go to the Tower for a few hours? That always made him feel better…plus, he had essentially no idea where he was, and he didn’t have his suit on him, so he couldn’t find his way with Karen’s help. He had no other options- 

No, wait, he could see how far the Tower was from where he was now? “Nice, genius,” Peter said, rolling his eyes at himself. He took out his phone and quickly typed in the address for the Tower into Google Maps, immediately grumbling. A two hour walk? Christ. What had he gotten himself into? 

Not to mention the fact that it was nearing dusk, and despite having a coat on, he was still getting fairly cold very fast. It was past six o’clock, _of course_ , so May was at work. Tony was his only option.

Shivering, Peter dialed Tony’s phone number. On the third ring, he picked up, which Peter was eternally grateful for — Tony hardly ever picked up. “Hey, kid.” 

“Do you think I could come over for a bit?” 

Tony, on the other side of the line, let out a small chuckle, though confused. “‘Course you can. I’ll send Happy to the apartment-”

“No, no! See, well, uh..” Peter trailed off, shutting his eyes. How was he supposed to say he was sitting in a park, _miles_ away from the apartment that he didn’t even _live_ in anymore? “I'm not at home right now.” 

Tony’s breath choked and he widened his eyes. “Are you at a party or something? I swear to God, kid-”

“No- I’m not! Although, in hindsight, I am kind of honoured you think I’m actually cool enough to be invited to a party.” Peter said, giggling quietly into the phone. 

“Not a compliment, kid. Where are you? Did you get hurt on patrol? Shit- Peter!” 

“No- stop assuming the worst, Jesus, I’m not in patrol…I’m at a park? It’s kind of dark so I couldn’t really tell you which one, but, uh, I left-” he’s about to lie straight through his teeth — something he never wanted to do with Mr. Stark, “I left the apartment and I just…sort of started walking. And now I’m really cold and May’s at work and I don’t have my suit or anything with me-” oh, and of course, now Peter was starting to get choked up again. This was great.

God, he felt so helpless. 

“Okay, okay, I can deal with that. Breathe, Pete. I’ll come- hang tight, can you send me your coordinates or something?” Tony could sense the kid’s anxiety through the phone, so he didn’t bother asking why he wasn’t at home but instead in a park in the middle of winter. That…probably had something to do with why he was calling in the first place. 

“Yeah, sure, I- hang on,” Peter quickly searched up his coordinates and sent them to Tony. “Done.” 

“Thanks, kid. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Be careful, alright?” Tony was already jogging down to let Pepper know he was leaving and grabbing his keys to go —Peter obviously needed his help. “...hang on, you’re not injured, right? Because you’ve been known to be a little sh-” 

“I’m fine, Mis’er Stark. Relax. I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yeah, see you soon, bud.”   
~  
Peter practically ran over to the car as it pulled up, launching himself into the passenger’s seat. “It’s _so_ fucking cold out.” 

All Tony could do was stare blankly at Peter, wondering what in the hell was going on right now. “You don’t look too hot, Pete..” 

“I don’t really ‘feel too hot’, either, I’ve mentioned that it’s, like, thirty below a few times already…” Peter tried to joke, grinning shortly. He was fine. “Stop looking at me like that.” 

“Sorry. I’m just, y’know, very confused and concerned?” 

Peter froze. Yeah, that…that was fair enough. He bit on his lip as he sank into the warmth of the heated seats, shutting his eyes once again. “May and I just had a bit of an argument. And I…uh, left for a bit.” 

Tony raised his eyebrows. “You? Arguing with _May_? I thought it was only me you pulled attitude with? Who are you and what the hell did you do with my Peter who never talks back?” He joked.

Peter just shrugged, glaring at Tony. “Dunno. Just, like, didn’t feel good. I kind of apologized.” 

“That’s a bit more the Peter Parker I know, yeah?” 

Nodding, Peter gave Tony a half-smile. “Uh..yeah. Thanks for coming.”

“No problem.” 

The two of them drove mostly in silence with the exception of light tunes from the radio in the background. It wasn’t too far of a drive, which Peter was very thankful for — he just wanted to get to the Tower and start working as soon as he could. Once they arrived, Peter dropped his bag at the doorway of the lab and followed Tony. “What do you think I can do today?” 

“Wanna work on some nanotech with me?” 

“Hell yeah I do,” Peter grinned, nodding profusely. 

“As expected. C’mere…”

There was an obvious elephant in the room every time their comfortable chatter died down, and at some point, it was genuinely unbearable to Tony. He’d never seen Peter act quite like he was right now, and it was _weird_. He didn’t know if he liked it, as if he was acting artificially or as if he wasn’t fully _there_ with him. “So, kid…what was this argument with your aunt about?” 

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I’m not so great with feelings, but I have good ears.” 

“I know, Mis’er Stark,” Peter said, nodding. Except I don’t really want to tell you we were evicted from our apartment and that everything around me as I know it is crumbling to pieces. 

Some things were just better left unsaid, Peter supposed. 

“How’s school?” Tony asked. In his defence, it’s been at least a week since they’ve really _talked_ , and Tony was curious. Maybe he could figure something out this way. 

“School’s fine. Finals are soon,” he said, trying to figure out what to do next. “How do I do this?” He asked, motioning to the formulas before him. Quickly Tony showed him what to do and he was back on track. 

Tony nodded. “Have you been studying?”

No. “Yeah, a bit.” 

“Good. Can’t have you failing your tests, huh?”

Peter laughed. “I’m most definitely not going to fail any of my tests.” 

For a few moments, the two of them sat in silence while they worked respectively on their projects. 

“Any new girls?” 

Peter looked up at Tony, then quickly back down at his working hands, fully avoiding eye contact. “No, Mis’er Stark,” said Peter, flushed. 

“...Guys?”

“No!” 

Tony chuckled softly, “I’m just messing with you, kid. Relax a bit.” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “I am relaxed.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Don’t let me know when you’re dating anybody.” 

“I am most definitely _not_ dating anybody. But you’re right, I wouldn’t tell you even if I was.” 

“I really feel the love, Pete, thank you. I am just so touched.” 

“ _Ha ha_ , I bet you are.”   
~  
It was quarter past midnight when Pepper came up to the lab to tell Tony to stop working, and maybe to drive Peter home, too. Neither of them had noticed the time. 

“I just…y’know, I find it so incredible how long you guys can work together without tending to basic human needs. When was the last time you guys ate or drank any water?” Pepper asked from the doorway, startling both of them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, but she exuded anything but angry vibes. 

Now that Pepper mentioned it, Peter _was_ pretty hungry. Tony raised his hands up in defeat. “We’ve only been up here a few hours.”

“You’re bordering on about six hours up here with a child, Tones. It’s time for bed.”

Tony and Peter started putting their projects away while  
Pepper walked back downstairs. “Are you going to stay the night or do you want me to drive you home?” 

Peter stopped in his tracks, furrowing his eyebrows together. He hadn’t really thought of that. “May’s at work.” 

“That’s never stopped you before?”

“And I also don’t have a key.” Well, it wasn’t a complete lie. 

“Staying it is, then. I’ll get the spare room fixed up, you can come down and wait for a bit.” 

Peter figured it would be good courtesy to message May and let him know he was staying at the Tower, even though she was working and wouldn’t see it. While he was trailing Tony downstairs, he pulled out his phone and starting composing the message. “i’m staying at the tower tonight because i don’t have a key to the room. i’ll get driven in the morning.” 

Hopefully she wouldn’t be angry with him tomorrow.   
~  
Soon enough, Tony was hustling around to find blankets and sheets for the spare room, and Peter was trying his best to help out. He’d stayed here quite a few times so he’d grown to quite like this room; it felt like his second one.

Or maybe it was his first now? Considering he had his own spare clothes, toothbrush and pyjamas in a cabinet, it was basically his own room. More than the shelter will ever be.

“Thanks,” Peter said as Tony finished laying the final blanket on the bed. “Can you drive me back in the morning?” 

“I can get Happy to drive you, I think I’ve got some stuff going on tomorrow.” 

Peter nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll go to bed now. Thanks again.” 

Tony stood and walked towards the door, “no problem, Pete. I’m here if you need anything, got it?” He said sincerely. “Like, _anything_.”

“Got it. Sleep good.”

“You too, kid. Have good dreams.” 

Peter knew he wouldn’t.


	9. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and pepper have a talk together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so excited to work on this more during this break holy heck !!! i’m so excited to see where it goes , i hope y’all like this chapter (like 2k absolutely smashed it 😤😤) !!

Peter hardly slept a wink at all. Usually, he felt safe and comforted in the Tower, in the presence of so much security, because why wouldn’t he? It belonged to _Stark Industries_ , for God’s sake, but tonight was…different. Not the good kind, either. 

It was nearly two o’clock in the morning when Peter just couldn’t take it anymore. He got out of bed and slipped on his old socks as to not produce too heavy of footsteps while walking. He really didn’t want to wake anybody so late. 

Silently, Peter kind of hoped Tony and Pepper would be sleeping next to each other tonight. They really deserved a nice night, unlike Peter, apparently. 

Peter descended down to the kitchen, making sure to walk as quietly yet quickly as he possibly could. 

Once Peter got to the open room, he stood in front of the windows, observing the darkness. It was past two in the morning and there was still a fair amount of cars driving along the roads — this city truly never slept, huh?

Peter glanced over to the dining room, and then his eyes followed logically to kitchen, and then his stomach grumbled. It’s been…a good full day since he’s eaten, which wasn’t good for him, especially considering his metabolism. 

Tony and Pepper wouldn’t mind if he had a bit of a midnight snack, right? 

Biting his lip, Peter frowned. He figured maybe they’d mind a bit, so he scrapped that idea despite his stomach — now very loudly — nagging at him. 

Damn it all. 

“FRI?” He whispered. 

“Yes, Peter?” 

Peter jumped slightly at the volume of her voice in comparison to the quiet Tower, and shook his head. “Volume down, please, Jesus Christ!” 

“Got it.” She said, much quieter. “Would you like me to alert Boss of your awakening?” 

“No, FRI,” he said slowly, rolling his eyes. She could be so difficult sometimes. “Let him sleep, please. I just have a question.”

“What is it, Peter?”

“Would Mister Stark or Miss Potts be bothered it I ate something?” 

“I very highly doubt so. I believe you have all access to essentially whatever you’d like here.” 

With that, Peter grinned, still staring out of the window. “Awesome! Thanks, Fri!”

“Anytime, Peter. Would you like me to increase my volume back?” 

“Uh, yeah, sure, but don’t say anything else. Thanks!”

She remained quiet as Peter made his way over to the kitchen, flipping the overhead light on and opening the fridge as quietly as he could. 

_They had so much food in their fridge._

Peter had never had a fridge as full as Tony and Pepper’s personal one, and even though it was so dumb, he almost felt a sense of loss, or longing, maybe. Longing for a better life-

No, not a better life. Peter’s life was fucking amazing. Sure, it had its low points, but he was _Spiderman _! And he had a really cool aunt who he sometimes treated unfairly, but she was still really good to him. And he hung out with Tony Stark all the time. And he had amazing grades.__

__And he was homeless._ _

__That was definitely the part he was longing for._ _

__Peter rolled his eyes at himself for getting so emotional over a goddamn fridge. God, how weird was he?_ _

__With that, Peter reached in and grabbed the carton of milk that was sitting in the door, setting it on the counter behind him. Then, he made his way to one of the cupboards and found the boxes of cereal he often ate from when he was here. Surely the couple wouldn’t mind him eating food that was basically reserved for him when he was over, right?_ _

__Why was he even worrying about this? Obviously Tony wouldn’t let him starve, especially while he was at the Tower. He was just being stupid. And over emotional, but what was new?_ _

__Peter brought the box of Rice Krispies down and set it on the counter, quickly hurrying for a bowl. Before Peter even realized, he’d scarfed down a full bowl of cereal and was working to pour a second. Once he’d finished pouring the second bowl, he made his way over to the couch overlooking the city and sat down._ _

__God, the view from here was prettier every time Peter saw it. The view from Peter’s old room in the apartment overlooked nothing spectacular, but this…was gorgeous. Peter couldn’t help but feel jealous of all of the people who could afford to have views this cool._ _

__Soon enough, Peter was finished his second bowl of Rice Krispies and debated going back for a third._ _

__Whatever, who cares?_ _

__So Peter had a third bowl and sat back down on the couch after turning the light in the kitchen off, leaving the room completely dark aside from the lights outside. He decided he was finally sufficiently fed once the third and final bowl was finished. By no means was he full — he probably would’ve had to have twenty bowls of that shit before he was _full_ — but he felt much better. His stomach was quieter, at least. _ _

__As Peter set his empty bowl down on the coffee table, and he brought his legs up onto the couch, sighing while looking out to the city once again. Maybe it would just be best to ask Tony and Pepper to live here with May until they could live properly on their own again. It’d surely be really cool, and it’d help both him and his aunt with all of the stress immensely. Plus, this place beat the shelter by miles in terms of coolness._ _

__But that’s also essentially giving up, and Peter hated doing that, not to mention May did, too. They were Parker’s after all, and the Parker family name was properly synonymous with resilient._ _

__Well, it’s a nice fantasy, at the very least._ _

__Peter didn’t really know whether it was ten minutes past or three hours past when he heard quit footsteps descending the stairs. Judging by the sky outside of the windows, it was likely the former option. He hadn’t slept — of course — and he had cried quite a bit as well which is no surprise given his situation, but he made sure to be quiet — after all, the den was much further away from the couple’s room than the guest room he was staying in, so he knew for sure they couldn’t have heard his sniffles. Maybe one of them just needed a midnight — more like three in the morning — snack or a drink of water? Peter prayed that’s all it was._ _

__“Peter?” Peter was surprised when he heard Pepper’s voice instead of Tony’s, even though she was, realistically, just as likely to come down. Why, though? He supposed he didn’t really have room to ask why she was coming downstairs so late — or early? — if he was down here, wide awake, too. “Are you alright? FRIDAY said you were in distress down here and I wanted Tony to stay asleep.”_ _

__Goddammit, FRIDAY. That absolute snitch._ _

__“I-I’m alright, Miss Potts, thank you though.” Peter said shyly. He was surely bright red despite the dark room. Pepper flicked on the nearest light switch to look at him. Her hair was in a bun on her head and she was wearing sweatpants. He’d never seen such a glorious person so relaxed-looking before._ _

__“Well. you don’t look like you’re dying or injured at all,” she said, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the bright light. He was crying, though? “Listen, I’m not Tony. I know he usually lets stuff like this go, but if FRIDAY says something, it’s probably true. Why are you down here? What’s wrong?”_ _

__Peter definitely looked like an absolute disaster when the lights got flicked on, and he coiled slightly into himself to hide from her. She was scary as hell, even when she was half-asleep. “I was hungry,” said Peter timidly, motioning to the bowl sitting before him. “And I came down here and didn’t really feel like going back upstairs.”_ _

__Pepper walked over to Peter and sat next to him on the couch, crossing her legs. “Any reason you look like you’ve been crying?”_ _

__Shrugging, Peter turned away once again. “I’m fine.”_ _

__Pepper sighed. This would be harder than she thought. “I don’t think many teenagers cry because they’re fine. I should know — I was one once, too,” Pepper laughed, looking over at Peter. He didn’t laugh. “Touch crowd, huh? Hey, look at me. It’s okay. I’m not going to laugh at you or anything, I want to help. That’s why I’m here and not asleep, right?”_ _

__Shit. He woke Pepper because of his stupid problems? “I’m sorry- I- honestly, I’ll be fine, I-”_ _

__“Not having it, Pete. I know we don’t talk much but I’m probably the most trustworthy person in the world.” She said. Peter honestly didn’t doubt that. “Talk to me. Or cry to me, or anything. Just want to make sure you’re alright.”_ _

__Pepper leaned over and wrapped her arms around Peter, and he melted into her warmth. Peter softly wrapped his arms around the woman, blinking back tears already forming in his eyes. He debated spilling everything to Pepper, but then figured she’d probably end up telling Tony somehow, which would completely go against all of his plans, and that simply couldn’t happen. So he’d…lie? Half-tell the truth?_ _

__“I’m just in a fight with somebody ‘nd I don’t like it, ‘cause I really don’t have any way to fix it and I think it’s officially the worst thing in the world.”_ _

__Pepper let Peter go but rested her hand on his arm, comforting him as best she could. “Care to elaborate?”_ _

__Peter shrugged._ _

__“With a friend? A girl? Tony?” Peter gave a slight laugh at her final suggestion, though he shook his head._ _

__“Uh, it’s…a girl, yeah.” God, that was humiliating._ _

__Pepper’s eyes softened. “Aw, Pete,” she said sympathetically, giving him a sad smile. “First girlfriend? First _break up_?” _ _

__“No, no break ups,” he said softly, bringing his legs back up onto the sofa, wrapping his arms around them tightly. “She- uh, it’s fine, it’s just..like, something with her. And it’s making it difficult to, like, communicate. At all.”_ _

__Pepper sat for a few moments silently, chewing on her lip. “What’s this thing with her?” She asked, then stood up, walking around to the kitchen. “C’mere.”_ _

__Peter followed slowly, giving her another shrug, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “Uh, it’s sort of hard to explain?”_ _

__“I’m here to listen all night, Pete. Literally.”_ _

__Peter gave a small nod to Pepper and took a deep breath. “Like, her family and money and stuff. She’s been kind of…irritable because of it? Um, it’s just her and her mom now, and they’re…not doing very well currently.”_ _

__Pepper opened the freezer and took out a tub of ice cream, which made Peter’s eyes light up. “Want some?”_ _

__With that, despite having just eaten three damn bowls of Rice Krispies, he nodded frantically. “Yes, please!”_ _

__“That sounds tough,” she finally commented, placing two bowls on the island from the cupboard. “How much have you talked to her?”_ _

__“Quite a bit, I guess, but we argued yesterday and now she won’t talk to me,” he said, gratefully taking the bowl of ice cream Pepper scooped for him. “I don’t even remember what it was about and it was _yesterday_!” He exclaimed, taking a bite of the treat soon after. _ _

__“Maybe she was more affected by it than you were and she remembers it better,” Pepper said, raising her eyebrows. “Did you say anything wrong?”_ _

__Yeah, he did, and he felt really shitty for it. “I don’t know. Maybe?”_ _

__“That could be it, unfortunately. Contrary to popular belief, things _can_ be your fault.” _ _

__“I know.”_ _

__“That doesn’t mean it can’t still hurt _you_ though, especially if she’s been acting up prior to your argument. Your emotions are still valid. I’d really try my best to understand why she’s acting this way though, Pete, what she’s going through is something…really hard to deal with.” _ _

__You wouldn’t even know the half of it._ _

__“I know. I- yeah, I’m well aware.”_ _

__“Talk to her tomorrow. Like, really try and talk to her. Breakups can be the worst when they end on bad terms.”_ _

__Peter would’ve definitely feigned offense had it been a real girl he was dating. “I know.”_ _

__“That’s all you know how to say?” Pepper joked, glancing at Peter, and then back down at her bowl._ _

__“I guess.”_ _

__“Something still wrong…?”_ _

__“I just don’t know _what_ to do. I want to help her, or give her ideas on how to help herself but I really have no idea how.” _ _

__Pepper paused. “I don’t know if there’s much you really can do for her in regards to her family’s financial problems, unfortunately.”_ _

__Great. That’s exactly what he wanted to hear!_ _

___Not._ _ _

__“I guess.”_ _

__Pepper and Peter ate in silence afterwards, and then they cleaned up all three bowls and put everything away. Once they were ready to head back to bed, Pepper stopped Peter and held him in a tight hug. “If you ever want to talk again, Peter, talk to me. I won’t tell a soul, alright?”_ _

__“Uh huh,” he said softly, “not even Mister Stark?”_ _

__“Especially not him. He's a terrible guy, especially with secrets.” The two of them giggled together softly, pulling apart from the embrace. “Tonight was good, Pete. We should _hang_ more.” _ _

__“Uh, Miss Potts, you’re really, _really_ cool and all, but that…wasn’t something very, y’know, hip and trendy to say. Sorry to break it to you.” _ _

__“Excuse me? And to think I thought we were having a moment.”_ _

__“I’m sorry! You needed to hear it!”_ _

__“I’m kidding, Peter.” Pepper led the two of them back upstairs, and they stood together for a moment in the middle of the hallway. “Try and get some sleep?”_ _

__“Of course. You too, Miss Potts!”_ _

__“God, Pete, it’s Pepper. I hate ‘Miss Potts’ as much as Tony hates ‘Mister Stark’.”_ _

__“In that case…” Peter trailed off as he opened the door to the guest room, stepping inside it and turning around, “Night, Miss Potts!”_ _


	10. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and may finally talk out their argument, but peter experiences something awful for the first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this particular bitch of a chapter be crusty as hell but it’s All Good :))
> 
> ((trigger warning for panic attacks in this chapter !! stay safe lovelies ❤️))

Pepper, even though she didn’t know at all the real situation, helped ease Peter’s mind drastically. She made it seem like talking about problems was so easy, especially when it concerned another person, and it made Peter a lot more optimistic about apologizing to May. Sure, he’d spent way too much time with Tony and learned his ways of pride, so it’d be damn difficult to do, but he knew he had Pepper on his side, even if she didn’t know it. 

Peter slept mostly soundly until morning came when he had to go home. 

At eight, Tony came into the spare bedroom to briefly wake Peter up and let him know Happy would be ready at eight-thirty to take him home. Quickly, Peter got ready and put everything back to the way it all was, repacking his bag to go home. 

The half an hour flew by and Happy was messaging him that he was ready to go. Peter said goodbye to FRIDAY and shyly waved Pepper goodbye, jogging to the elevator and then out the door to the car. 

The quiet drive wasn’t too long back to the apartment, but to say Peter’s heart was racing was an understatement. Happy took him right back to the complex where he always did, because nobody had a clue he wasn’t living there anymore. Peter felt like collapsing as soon as they arrived. 

“Alright, kid. Time to go.” Happy said rather unenthusiastically. How characteristic of him, right? 

So Peter waved him goodbye, grabbing his backpack and stepping out of the car, shutting the door behind him. 

What would he do? 

He had to think fast, faster than this.

Whatever he should’ve done was not what he just did, that’s for damn sure, he thinks, because Peter walked straight into the building once again, making sure Happy drove off before walking right back out. 

Screw Happy and being a cautious, responsible adult, always making sure Peter got into the building safely. 

Having to walk back into this building made Peter’s chest tight again, like it had so many times within just the past couple days. He was absolutely sick of being sad and emotional over this, because all he was doing was feeling sorry for himself and what good did that ever do for anybody? 

Peter ran back to the shelter, thanking God he remembered which way it was well enough from the drive a couple of days back, though it felt like forever ago. 

He was only slightly out of breath when he arrived, stumbling into the doors. The lady at the desk was the same one who gave May and him their room, so he figured she probably recognized him. Fuck. 

“Can I help you, sir?” She asked, startled by the commotion. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t remember my place and I don’t have a key.” 

“For sure, last name please?”   
~  
Peter didn’t even need a key, it turned out, because May had arrived home from her graveyard an hour ago, and was worriedly awaiting Peter’s arrival. He wasn’t prepared for this at all. 

“Oh my goodness, Peter, I’m so glad you made it back safe,” she had said immediately, engulfing him in a hug. Sure, Pepper’s hugs were good, but God, May’s were the _best_. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, frowning as they let go of one another. “That was, y’know, insanely stupid of me to do.”

“It absolutely was, sweetheart, but you’re safe and that’s what matters, alright?” 

“Yeah.”

“Sit down and we’ll talk, alright?” 

Hesitantly, Peter nodded and kicked off his shoes, letting his backpack fall to the ground near the door. He made his way to the small, white couch and sat down on it. 

“Are you hungry? I’m guessing you didn’t eat breakfast?” May asked, motioning towards the mini-fridge in the corner of the adjacent kitchen. 

“I’m good, thanks.” Where’d they even get food for him to eat from? 

May sat down next to Peter moments later, though she stayed silent. She didn’t really know what to say, if she was being entirely honest. 

“At this point, I think you know I’m sorry. I don’t really know why…I thought that was a good idea. It’s just frustrating, really frustrating, but I won’t do that again.”

Like a bandaid. 

May nodded. “I was worried my entire shift.”

“Sorry.”

May hastily nodded again, pursing her lips together. “I know, honey. I am too.” May paused for a brief second, and then looked across to Peter. She’d save the bad news for later. “How was staying with Tony?” 

“Good.”

“Just good, huh? Usually you love going over there?” 

Peter shrugged. “It was fine? We didn’t really have a lot of time to do anything extravagant ‘cause he had stuff to do this morning, but last night was fun. Worked on some new stuff.” 

“Good! That sounds fun,” she said, smiling softly at Peter. She loved this kid more than the world. He was her world. “I’d, um, I’d like to talk to you again, and I know there’s been a lot of that lately, but..”

Oh God. Was this the end? 

Peter looked over at his aunt inquisitively, furrowing his eyebrows. “About…?”

“I’m picking up a new position at the hospital- and I know! I know what you’re going to say, and I know it absolutely sucks, but I need to. I’ll take extra shifts at the hospital and it’ll pay better, I’m hoping. I talked to Tammy and she told me about this new position, but she doesn’t know the pay yet. It’ll be more than now, which is good, but that means more mandatory hours…” 

“May…” 

“I know, honey, I don’t want to either, but it’s only temporary, alright? A couple months tops, and-”

“A couple _months_?!” Peter exclaimed, eyes widening in protest. “No, May, you can’t..”

“I have to. I have zero choice if we want to someday live in our own place again with a decently stable income.”

Peter’s shoulders slumped forwards because he knew it was the truth. He’d rather the truth be anything but that. “May, I’m gonna-” he choked out, chest tight, but he wasn’t crying. This was far from crying. “I can’t- you can’t-”

And before Peter knew it, he couldn’t breathe. 

Time seemed to freeze mid-second, and all Peter could feel was searing pain. Everywhere. He was unable to breathe, unable to move, unable to think. He was shaking, and shaking, and shaking, and he’s never felt more like he was going to die. 

Is this how he’d end? 

Peter couldn’t believe this was the end for him, for Peter Parker. For Spiderman. Christ, this was a _really_ awful time to die.   
~  
“-ter!”

“Peter!” 

Peter’s eyes blinked open slowly, and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, body entirely numb. He was laying on the floor with May knelt down next to him, eyes filled with confusion and worry. “…May?” What in the everloving fuck happened? 

“It’s me, sweetheart, you’re okay, breathe, Peter,” May whispered, continuing to thread her fingers through her nephew’s matted hair. “You’re alright, you’re alright.” 

“What…happened?” He asked, swallowing thickly. Damn, his throat hurt. Did he faint maybe? 

“I think you had a panic attack, sweetheart, but you’re alright, do you feel alright? On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you feel right now?”

That…made sense. But it fucking sucked and Peter hoped he’d never have one again. His hazy mind cleared a bit as she continued to speak to him and he regained a bit of strength to speak, “Like, a five, maybe. I feel weird?”

“Weird how, honey?”

“I don’t know. Kind of numb. Kind of cold.” 

“Okay, okay. I can deal with numb and cold. Not sick to your stomach, no headache?”

“Not really, no.” 

May let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Wasn’t this just a great day? 

Peter shakily sat up, furrowing his eyebrows at the previously given information. He had a attack? He’d never had one of those before. And…it’s safe to say it’s scared him for the rest of his life. “Why did that even happen?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart, usually because of stress or anxiety. I’m thinking everything from the past couple weeks has started to really take its toll on you and your body?” 

“Nice — how do I make sure it doesn’t ever happen again?” 

“You…don’t, really. Take it easy for a bit, honey, I’ll get you something to eat and we’ll figure out where to go from there, alright?”

All Peter did was nod, and then think back to when Tony told him he got panic attacks sometimes. Given how fuzzy his mind still felt he couldn’t remember Tony’s exact reasoning back when he told Peter about it, something to do with all of the traumatic battles he’s been in and his PTSD caused him to get them sometimes…whatever that meant. Peter understood a bit better now. 

Soon, May returned to Peter with a glass of water and a cup of vanilla yogurt, ready for him to eat. “It’s not very much but it’s what they gave us, and yogurt is good after something like this. Drink first.”

Peter took small sips of his glass of water and ate the yogurt fairly quickly, feeling good enough to stand back up soon after. May enveloped him in a side hug when he got up, pecking him on the side of the head with a few kisses. “It’ll get better. I- do you think maybe a doctor could help? Do you think you’d benefit from talking to someone about all of this?”

“May, I-”

Peter was going to agree, he really was, because he knew that’s what would make May happiest… but then Peter thought about it. Therapists were expensive as _hell_. Like, hundreds of dollars a session with a good one, and sure, his mental health was important and yet rapidly declining lately, but they…they didn’t have money to live in a fucking _house_ , for Christ’s sake, they couldn’t afford for him to go see a therapist. No way in hell. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

“Peter, I work at a hospital — I can get you in to see somebody if need be, alright? Promise me you’ll tell me if something goes wrong. If you have another panic attack, you tell me, or if…I don’t know, if you’re just feeling badly. I need to know these things when we’re living in these sorts of circumstances, alright?”

“Yes, of course, May, I’ll tell you everything. Promise.”

“Thank you.” She let out a sigh, once again hugging Peter close. “Is Tony busy today?”

“I think so,” he murmured, tilting his head to the side, stepping out of her arms. “Why?”

“I think I’m going to need to see about a new agreement for the next little while, if you can start spending more time at the Tower instead of here — or wherever we are — alone, because I’ll be working more, and…”

Peter tuned the rest of her talking out, nodding along entirely at random. Under any other circumstances, he’d be delighted to hear he’d get to spend more time at the Tower with a Tony, but now it’ll just be more sneaking around and more lies and more secrets… 

Great. 

“As long as you don’t tell him what’s going on, it’s fine.”

“I really don’t know how much longer you can keep it from him, Peter.” May said, shaking her head slightly. “If something happens, like you have another panic attack, he needs to know. He essentially has co-custody of you at this point. You can’t…you can’t hide something like this from people who care about you, honey.”

“I’d argue back but I’m really not feeling up to it. Please, just..don’t? I’ll figure it out myself.” 

“I trust you more than I should, huh?”

“Probably, yeah.”  
~   
May started her new position a week and a half later. She’d talked to Tony about having Peter go and stay over more often, which was generally five to six times a week now, and she’d — more accidentally than not — told him Peter had two panic attacks (the second one was…arguably worse than the first, but Peter would really rather not relive it) and to look out for him a bit more. 

The good thing was, Peter got to _work_ more, which meant _two_ incomes. The bad thing…it takes a hell of a long time to get situated again. They’d need to seriously start saving money and putting fair amounts away for savings every month, and in order to have enough to live on with bills, cars and house payments, they’d need to save up quite a bit yet before being able to comfortably live again…this, in other words, meant months worth of saving. Which fucking sucked. 

Peter started to bring over small bits and pieces of their extra things from the apartment every time he went over to the Tower, storing it all in the drawers of the guest room he knew nobody ever went in besides him. He’d stored trinkets and decorations, mostly, of both of theirs, because they didn’t want to bother having special things in a rather not secured and temporary place to stay. It made Peter feel incredibly uncomfortable, honestly, so he decided taking it to the Tower secretly would be his best option. 

The week before Christmas, Peter and May were still in the shelter, but they’d both gotten paid in the meantime, and it equaled to over two thousand dollars put together, which was…great. May cried — surprise, surprise — in relief when they put their paychecks next to one another and saw the sum of it all. 

Sure, it’d take a couple more months, and Christmas this year would be anticlimactic at _best_ , but you can’t get much better than being happy over your paychecks for the first time in your life. Seeing May happy like that was incredible. 

Peter couldn’t even describe how excited he was for that happiness to be able to happen more and more often.


	11. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of tony’s perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied last chapter, this is the crustiest one , it is all over the place yikes
> 
> anyways i tried to do a more tony centric chapter because he’s Concerned Too smh 
> 
> anyways anyways this was gonna be the chapter where tony finds out bc it felt right but then it didn’t so i had him find out something less centric bc i need to get the ball rolling somehow lol
> 
> also i thought don’t stop me now was a pretty fitting and uplifting song so that’s why i chose it ok thank u goodbye lol

“But what’d he say?”

“Tony, sweetheart,” Pepper sighed, “love of my life, if you will, it was weeks ago. I don’t remember what he told me in the middle of the night. Would you please quit it?” 

“Yes, okay, sure. If it comes to you, tell me, alright?”

Obviously Pepper wasn’t as forgetful or clueless as she was acting, but she’d promised Peter she wouldn’t say anything to Tony, and it’s not like his relationship problems were much of Tony’s concern anyway. It didn’t matter. 

“I just can’t understand what’s going on with him. The past month, I’ve noticed he’s been so… _not Peter_. Have you- have you noticed that?” Tony pleaded, scrambling to write the finishing touches on the most recent paper he’d been working on, then quickly looking up to Pepper. “I mean, I know you don’t see him too much, but-”

“Tony,” Pepper said, looking up at him, a glint of sternness lingering somewhere in her eyes. “I hardly see Peter, nevermind do I talk to him on the regular, so no, I haven’t noticed anything. And even if I did remember — which I don’t — I wouldn’t tell you anything. You worry too much for your own good.”

“Pep,” Tony collected a few stray papers strewn haphazardly across the table, filing them accordingly within each other. “There’s no way you don’t remember what you guys talked about. I need to know this stuff, he’s like- like, my mentee, or something.”

“You mean he’s like your child?” Pepper batted her eyelashes, giving Tony a small chuckle. “Relax. I understand you care for him, I do, but it doesn’t matter what we talked about, alright? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but go do some work in the lab. Please? I really was trying to get some work done before you came down here and bothered me with your paperwork and needy questions.”

Tony paused, the stack of papers now clenched in his hand. “So…so you do remember?” 

Pepper rolled her eyes, shaking her head at the man before her. “Dear God, Tony, of course I remember. I couldn’t run this company if I had that bad of a memory, especially with your work done.” She stood up, motioning for Tony to stand up as well. “Come here.”

Hesitantly, Tony stood and walked to his fiancée, taking her hand. “I just want to make sure he’s alright, Pep. FRI- she said he was crying, and with how he’s been staying over more lately, and he had panic attacks apparently? I don’t know what’s happening to him and I…feel sort of helpless.”

“I know, sweetheart, but it’s really okay. Peter’s fine. I wouldn’t lie to you,” Pepper said, squeezing Tony’s hand tightly, tying her best to give him some sort of condolences for her refusal. “He told me not to tell anyone anything. It’s just…y’know, teenager stuff, and I know you don’t do well dealing with that sort of stuff anyway, so it doesn’t matter.” 

Tony looked down at their interlocked hands and then out to the window. Sure, he was shitty with emotions — particularly teenager emotions, God, how was he going to be a father someday? — but that didn’t mean he _couldn’t handle them_. He’d been a teenager once too — even if he spent most of those years either drunk or high — and he’d had his fair share of ‘teenager stuff’. Did Peter not trust him? Did Peter like talking with Pepper more than him? 

It wasn’t often that Tony Stark felt anything even marginally close to _insecurity_ , but when he did… 

In all honesty, Tony couldn’t help but feel a twinge of hurt buried deep down inside of him. “I- uh…sorry.” 

“No need. It’s fine. It’s fine, Tony, everything’s dealt with. Don’t worry about him.” 

Tony dropped Pepper’s hand. “Okay.” 

Pepper, in turn, looked up to Tony and frowned. “Stop with that. You’re trying to make me feel guilty, and it’s not going to work.”

“I’m doing nothing of the sort, my dear. I would never.” 

“Liar.”  
~  
Peter came over the next day with a backpack full of May’s books that she just couldn’t get rid of…not like Peter really understood why, what was so irreplaceable about cheesy romance novels? 

Carrying a bag so heavy for more than a few minutes definitely did take its toll on Peter’s back, so when he got up to the couple’s personal quarters, he quickly scurried to the guest bedroom to unload the weight into drawers. While he did so, FRIDAY must have let Tony know Peter came, so Tony strolled into the guest room soon after, completely unaware to Peter. “Kid?” Tony asked, fully opening the door, standing in the frame of it, arms crossed over his chest. What in the everloving fuck was this kid doing now? 

Peter froze. “Hey, Mis’er Stark,” he drawled, turning around on his heels slowly, displaying a large grin across his face. He was shaking. Of course, of all days, Tony decides to catch him the day he’s trying to sneak _shitty romance models_ into Tony’s own damn guest room drawers! 

As Peter made eye contact with his mentor, he decided he was entirely not ready to tell Tony about everything he’s been trying so desperately to hide. Today could absolutely _not_ be the day he came clean. 

One of Tony’s eyebrow was quirked up in the way it always was when he was curious and wanted answers, and all Peter could do was drop his bag, trying to slyly shut the drawer, now filled with all of May’s books. “Care to explain what…exactly you’re doing?” 

“Dropping off my school books,” Peter said, tilting his head to make it seem like his answer was obvious, walking away from the drawer and his bags on the ground. “I figured I may as well leave them here for a while, ‘cause I do work here more often than home now.” 

“Aren’t you off school in a couple days? Why do you have school books here if you don’t have any work to do?” 

Shit. 

Peter just shrugged. “Yeah, well…still, I figured they’re better here than at home..” 

“Alright, then.” Tony paused, motioning for Peter to follow him. “Actually, hang on,” Tony said, looking directly at Peter, standing just a few feet ahead of him. “Why do your school books look like _that_?” Asked Tony, cocking his head to the side. He didn’t think he’s ever seen textbooks quite so small, yellow and, well, _ancient looking_. Maybe he’d need to talk to the school about funding for new textbooks. 

Peter shrugged once again. “English stuff. Lots of little novel studies, y’know?”

“Uh huh, but you’re not taking English this semester…nice try,” Tony accused. In all honesty, he just had no clue what the fuck Peter was keeping from him at this point, and he really wanted to know. Sue him for being curious! 

Oh, how Peter just wanted all of this to end. He didn’t like lying to Mister Stark, and as much as he wanted to keep everything under the wraps, he didn’t know if he had the willpower to do it anymore. Was he really willing to be found out through these books, though? 

Yeah, he didn’t think so. 

“Observant,” Peter muttered, walking to the doorway, trying his best to push past Tony. 

“I’m not following, kid,” Tony started, leaning further into the doorframe, raising his eyebrows. “I just don’t get what exactly you’re trying to hide? Are these books filled with, like, _crystal meth_ or something? Are you hiding weapons in that drawer and you're using books to hide them? The possibilities are endless, Underoos!” 

“Christ,” Peter looked up at Tony, confused, “where on earth would I get _crystal meth_ from?!” 

Tony shrugged, raising his arms as if surrendering, “I don’t know, kid! You never know, teenagers are very weird these days!” 

Right, well Tony wasn’t wrong…especially because Peter was hiding _goddamn romance novels in his drawers_ \- Peter would never get over how humiliating this was. 

“I agree! Which is why you should just be entirely unconcerned with what’s happening right now. Can we go work?” 

“Kid, hate to break it to you, but, y’know, this is my place, yeah? I can literally see what you did as soon as you leave, and lying isn’t ever really too helpful for your case.” Tony’s tone wasn’t heavy or accusatory in the slightest, in fact, he was trying to keep the air as lighthearted as he could. 

Peter, on the other hand, was apparently not having it. 

“Alright…tough crowd? Hey, relax, kid,” Tony said, “I’m just kidding! I don’t- I don’t care about whatever you want to keep here, alright? I don’t. I’m not about to actually go through your stuff- unless it actually is, y’know, hardcore drugs or whatever. Then you bet your ass I’ll be going through it,” Tony said with a laugh, “but I’m not about going snooping through other people’s shit.” 

Slowly, Peter nodded. Damn, he…he really didn’t notice how worked up he was getting. He could trust Mister Stark. Easily, that could’ve led to another panic attack and Jesus, Peter was _not_ about to have that happen to him in front of Mister Stark. 

_No thank you._

Tony hesitated. This really wasn’t his ballgame — dealing with secretive, panicking teenagers — but he’d signed up for this, he supposed, with this whole conversation completely going off the rails. “If there’s something else bothering you, kid, uh…” said Tony, chewing on his lip, “I’ll listen to you. Or, uh, Pepper’s available too. Whatever you need.” 

Slowly, Peter’s anxiety diminished, and he realized he was getting worked up over nothing. 

Again.

That really seemed to be happening a lot lately, didn’t it? _Was that some weird side effect of poverty? Of homelessness?_

“Don’t need anything, Mister Stark. I’m good!” 

“Okay. Yeah. That’s good. That’s good!” They both nodded alongside one another, and despite the elephant that was very much in the room, Tony accepted it as a win. Peter…not so much, but hey, he’d work on it. 

“Lab now? I’ve got a few things we could work on, huh?” 

Peter nodded quickly, “of course!”  
~  
It was eleven at night when Peter brought it up. He never thought he’d actually muster up the courage to, because, in all fairness, he was a very secretive person, but he knew he could trust Tony, and it seemed Tony was on edge all night. Maybe he just needed a good heart-to-heart… 

Yeah, Peter wasn’t kidding himself because he didn’t think Tony’s ever needed that in his life, _but still_. Maybe it was Peter who needed the heart-to-heart. That was much more likely. 

“I had a panic attack a couple weeks ago.” 

Tony stopped what he was doing with his screwdriver and looked up at Peter, as if to motion for him to continue. He knew this — May had told him when they needed a temporary shifted agreement — but to hear Peter say it was worlds different. It felt much more real, and Tony felt something unfamiliar — akin to guilt, maybe? —bubble in his chest that he didn’t too much enjoy the feeling of. 

“Yeah, but I don’t know why? I was, like, with May, and it just _happened_. And then another one happened a few days later when I was alone at home. I figured I should tell you…mostly ‘cause I kind of felt like I was going to have one earlier…?” 

“Kid…” Tony shut his eyes for a moment, setting his tools down on the table. “They…they suck, don’t they?” 

“Yeah, they do. I thought I was dying. Both times.”

Tony gave a half-hearted, small chuckle at Peter’s (poor) attempt at making a joke. Truthfully, God, Tony knew panic attacks like the back of his hand, and he couldn’t even begin describe how much he _didn’t_ want Peter to be going through the same things he did. He wouldn’t wish them on his worst enemies — and trust him, he’s got _enemies_ that he’d wish nothing more than terrible, terrible things on — but not panic attacks. “I’m sorry if I did something earlier, I really didn’t mean to make you so worked up-” 

“Yeah, of course, I know. I don't think it was ‘cause of you.” 

_Good, because I don’t know what I’d do to myself if I did that to you._

“I don’t want to scare you, but sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. And then it gets better, and better, and better, and I don’t know…I don’t know what caused yours, but, y’know, you’re not alone, ‘lright, kid? Being a teenager is hard, huh?” 

_You don’t know the half of it._

“Uh huh,” Peter hummed. “Sorry.” 

“No need. S’all good. You tired yet?” 

Peter shook his head, giving Tony a wide smile. “All good!” 

“Alright! FRI, play some Queen, ‘n’ turn it up!” 

“Got is, Boss. Playing _Don’t Stop Me Now_.”


	12. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this has a little bit of a nostalgic feel to it !

Right when everything seemed to be even marginally looking up for Peter, it all came crashing down right before his eyes….which, in hindsight, was fully expected, really, because as good as he was with his secrets, he knew he couldn’t last much longer. 

It started the day before Christmas Eve. Peter was late getting up again, which wasn’t alright in the least considering he had to get to the complex before Happy made it there. At nine. 

It was eight forty-five when he woke up, and the run was at least ten minutes long. 

Happy was scheduled to pick Peter up at nine o’clock promptly at the apartment, and while Peter was generally a perfectly prompt person, he wasn’t perfect.

Unfortunately for him, time-wise, Happy was about as close to perfect as someone could get. 

And damn him for being such. 

Happy was already sitting in the parking lot when Peter arrived from the run. Considering it was late December, he was shivering his ass off thanks to the distance, but seeing the car made his blood run particularly cold. He had no plan. He couldn’t start Christmas break this way! 

Surely Happy would see him if he tried to get inside the doors of the complex and then leave, and saying he was out doing productive things — alone — before nine in the morning? That wasn’t believable at _all_. 

Peter walked towards Happy’s car slowly, so slowly, because he didn’t want a conversation about where he was to follow. Who knows, maybe Happy wouldn’t have even realized…? 

When Peter opened the car door, Happy was looking right at him, a puzzled expression on his face. “Where on earth did you come from?”

Of course. Just Peter’s luck! 

“Went on a walk.” Right, so maybe Peter’s never really choicefully gone on a walk in his life— especially in twenty below weather— but Happy didn’t need to know that. 

“In this weather? Are you looking to actually kill yourself?” Happy’s voice was on edge, which was definitely unusual, though that was probably fair, considering what Peter just said. 

Peter took his bag off and set it down between his feet, bringing his hands up to his mouth to warm his clammy fingers with his breath. “Nope, I, uh, just felt like it, y’know? Getting a head start on my New Year's resolutions!” He exclaimed, flashing Happy a look of assurance. 

Yeah, he definitely sounded insane…but hey, it got Happy off of his case, which was what mattered. 

Peter sat in silence the rest of the ride. He was shaking the majority of the ride, too, but he didn’t know whether to chalk it up to the cold or to nerves. Maybe it was a mix of both. 

See, this situation was much more than just…being poor, or being homeless, or not being able to afford anything society expected from him and his aunt. He couldn’t tell Ned or MJ or Mister Stark or Miss Potts or _anybody_ at this point, because this situation was now a complicated web of lies; it was a case of pure shame, stress and sadness. 

It was more than just ‘coming clean’ by now. He’d protected himself from humiliation for the better portion of two months, and he was determined to keep this all up until him and May were much more stable than they were now. Considering they were essentially at rock bottom, that couldn’t possibly be more than a few weeks away, right? He could do this. 

The looming Tower felt menacing today as they approached in Happy’s car. It contained so much of his and May’s stuff now, and with Happy now being suspicious, it felt wrong, like maybe he shouldn’t be here today…or at all, just until he wasn’t so unsteady. Stepping foot inside the doors made Peter’s stomach flip with nerves, because he just couldn’t help but feel exposed and wrong here. 

It was ridiculous, he knew so, but he _couldn’t help it_. At this stage in the game, he was desperate for something — _anything_ — to assure him what he was feeling was irrational and irrelevant, but…he just didn’t have that right now. 

Was he making this harder on himself than he needed to? 

Probably, yes. Whatever. He’d just have to deal with it, he supposed. 

When Peter arrived to the personal quarters from the elevator, he immediately couldn’t help but grin at the pile of boxes sitting in the dead-centre of the den He knew what this meant — and it was about damn time, too! 

“Mister Stark?” He called out, approaching the boxes, pulling a couple of them open, briefly looking at what was inside each one. 

“Peter!” It was Tony, so Peter quickly spun around on his heel to be greeted by both him and Pepper, standing, grinning, in the doorway. “I see you’ve found our newest project.”

“Project? This is a yearly thing, guys, and it’s about damn time you’ve gotten around to doing it!” Peter scoffed, shaking his head. “Were you guys…waiting for me to start?” 

The two of them nodded in sync, each giving Peter sheepish smiles in return. “We figured we may as well, mostly ‘cause you’d be very offended if we did it ourselves, especially because it's been a stressful couple of weeks for you. Plus, Peter, you’re able to _climb on walls_ , you could be very…eh, effective putting up our decorations, yes?” 

“Listen, kid, you have permission to climb on the walls to decorate today and today _only_. Don’t be stupid and make me take away this day-long privilege,” Tony warned, raising his eyebrows. “Got it?” 

“Yes!” Peter beamed, all of his previous anxieties melting away as if automatic. 

This was going to be perfect.   
~  
So…so it was going well. Really, really well, in fact, until it wasn’t. 

Peter had been climbing everywhere, mounting every decoration Tony and Pepper had, he was able to wrap the tinsel high around the tree where nobody else could reach, there was Christmas music blasting all throughout the floor, he even got to top the tree with the star when they were finished! It was basically every person's dream _ever_ to be able to do something like this with _Tony Stark and Pepper Potts_. It was incredible, really. He hadn’t felt much of any Christmas spirit this year, for obvious reasons, and it really helped him feel overall a bit more festive and excited for the upcoming celebration. 

Until Tony and Pepper brought out… _gifts_. 

Peter hadn’t thought much about giving or getting any gifts for anyone, especially May, so seeing Tony and Pepper getting each other gifts put him off ever so slightly. He couldn’t help but be curious about what they were, quite honestly. 

He could vaguely remember the feeling of his aunt and uncle bringing out his gifts a few days before Christmas when he was younger, and how it felt like he was the most special, spoiled child in the entire world — even just for a few days. Realistically, he never got much — his family was never rich by any means — but it had always felt like he did, even last year, he got a few trinkets and some candy from May and he felt completely content with what he’d received. 

Sure, Christmas wasn’t about presents, but it was, of course, a nice perk. One he didn’t get this year, and that was something he’d have to accept — quickly. 

He smiled at them, though, and tried his best not to show any sadness or longing while they were busy getting arranged. 

“Pete?” 

Had he been zoned out? He hadn’t even realized. “Sorry, yeah?”

“Do you think coming over on Christmas would interest you and May at all?” 

Peter gave Tony a suspicious look. Was…was he serious? “Actually?” 

Tony shot him the same look right back. “Yes…? Why would I be lying?” 

“I- yes, of course! I’ll message her!”

Excitedly, Peter pulled out his phone and pulled up his message logs with May, quickly composing a short message asking if she was working on Christmas, and that if she wasn’t, that Tony would like them to come over. He couldn’t believe this! Peter was expecting Christmas to be a day like any other this year with maybe a few more positive greetings floating around, but nothing to this extent. Screw being upset about presents, he and May were going to spend Christmas with _Tony Stark_! 

May replied not too soon after, and Peter was immediately met with disappointment. May’s never worked on a Christmas, not for as long as he could remember, and his stomach filled with sadness. He could feel her guilt through the screen — thanks to the many, many sad emojis sent after her various apologies — so he quickly reassured her and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. 

Nevermind, Peter supposed, he wouldn’t get the Christmas he wanted. But it was fine. He was fine. 

Peter sat down on the couch facing away from the open-planned kitchen. “May, uh, she can’t come on Christmas,” he said bluntly, making sure to look away from the couple now rummaging around in the kitchen in efforts of making lunch. 

Immediately, Pepper let out a sad gasp, spinning around to look at Peter, a bowl in her hand. “Does she work this year? What about another day?” 

“Yeah. I don’t know.” 

A few moments later, he reported back to Tony and Pepper that she wouldn’t be off until the twenty-seventh and that she apologized for not being able to make it. 

“Have her come over for the twenty-seventh, then, and we’ll figure out something for the next few days together, us three, sound good?” Tony said immediately, handing Pepper a few ingredients from the fridge. “No big deal, right? 

Pepper turned around and promptly hit Tony’s shoulder, shaking her head, “Of course it’s a big deal, Tony,” she said softly, mostly in efforts that Tony understood it was evidently very important to Peter, given how he now seemed to be avoiding the two of them in the den. 

“I know, I know! It’s just, y’know, we’re able to make arrangements. It’s alright, Pep,” he said, his attention now fixed on Peter who seemed to be scrolling through a feed on his phone, sitting silently on the sofa. 

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Pepper said sincerely, setting down the bowl she had in her hand, “Has she ever worked on Christmas before…?” 

Slowly, Peter shook his head, “No, she generally reserves it really early on ‘cause, like, Christmas without Ben and stuff is pretty lonely, but I guess this year she wasn’t able to, probably ‘cause of her position change and stuff. It’s all good, though, honestly.” 

Tony and Pepper both shared a look, mainly one of concern. It was incredible — and quite sad, really — how quickly Peter’s mood had flipped. “Well, we’ll be sure to make the twenty-seventh the best damn two-day-late Christmas ever, yeah?”

“Uh huh,” said Peter, nodding quickly, “What do you guys usually do on Christmas?” 

“Not a whole lot lately, we used to have people from the crew come over, whoever could, and we’d do Secret Santa and a dinner and stuff. Past couple years have been pretty quiet, though, right?” 

Distantly, Peter wondered if the Avengers falling out was the same year Ben passed away. Separately, he thought, the four of them suffered quiet Christmases for the first time that year. It made Peter feel the slightest bit comforted. 

“For sure, mainly Rhodey and Happy and all of them come still, but it’s for sure quieter. What…what about you, kid?” 

Peter finally turned around and looked towards them mingling around in the kitchen, trying to draw as little attention to his movements as possible. “We usually just watch awful Christmas movies and get takeout and stay up all night. It’s, like, kind of bland but I, uh, I really like it. When, y’know, when Ben was…here, uh, and we lived back in the house, we’d spend a lot of the day outside if it wasn’t too cold, we’d go sledding and stuff. We don’t do that much anymore.” 

Tony and Pepper couldn’t help the respective smiles that spread across their faces at Peter’s clearly very dear memories. “It sounds like you really like Christmas, huh?” 

“I do, yeah. It’s like…it’s like the one day every year where there’s no issues, right?” 

Except this year, because this year they wouldn’t be doing gift exchanges and May was working and they were homeless. Christmas as a whole was an issue, this year, if anything. 

“Right.” 

“What’s your favourite gift you’ve ever gotten?” Tony asked in hopes of keeping Peter’s current spirits relatively high. “Or your worst one?” He laughed, continuing to look down at the vegetables he was chopping up. 

Slowly but surely, Peter had a genuine smile on his face at the thought, immediately gathering an idea in his head. “When I was really little, in the old house, I was, like, a really big space nerd ‘cause space was the thing that got me so into science — my first gift from Ben was a little telescope and a book filled with planets, space was, like, _our thing_ — and one year, I got those glow-in-the-dark stars and planets that you stick on your ceiling, you know them? Very nineties-esque?” Tony hummed in agreement, while Pepper gave him a small assurance to continue, “right, yeah, so Ben and I put them up together, and it was a whole big deal, like, placement and everything, and I would count them every night before I went to sleep. When we, uh, moved out of the house, I put them back up in my room at the new apartment, and I’d count them every night ‘n’ I’d imagine Ben was somewhere up in the stars, watching us all the time.”

“Oh, Peter,” Pepper said softly, now not at all paying attention to the meal they were attempting to cook. “That’s…really lovely. You still count them now?”

“I- uh,” well, he did until they moved out and had to take them all down, yeah, “Yeah. I’m kind of surprised they’ve stuck as long as they have.” 

“Well, I really quite doubt what we got you will live up to that, but I hope it’s up there…that’s really special, kid. Never forget that.” 

Peter frowned. “Wait, you got me something? I- why?” 

“Because I thought of you as soon as I saw what it was,” Tony said, giving Peter a small smile. “And it’s pretty damn cool.” 

“Oh. Uh, I…didn’t get you guys anything,” he mumbled, sheepish. Now he felt quite quilty. Why’d they have to go and get him expensive gifts? Last year’s Christmas presents were more than enough for the rest of his _life_ — suits, new tech Tony had designed, plus a bit of room in Tony’s personal lab he could have as his own? Nevermind what they got May… 

Peter would never admit it out loud, but he was most certainly jealous of their wealth.

There, he said it! 

“It’s fine, Peter, don’t worry about it at all! We don’t need anything, okay?” Pepper assured quickly, shaking her head at Peter’s words. “Please don’t worry. Save up for college instead.” 

“Yeah, kid, MIT tuition is insane. Gotta save where you can, right?”

Peter stiffened. “What’s the tuition fee?” 

Surely it couldn’t be that bad, right? 

“Like, thirty grand? Fourty? It’s gone up _just a tad_ since I attended, but hey, I guess being smart comes with a cost now,” Tony joked, but Peter didn’t laugh. 

_Fourty thousand dollars._

“Per- per year?!”

“Uh huh.” 

Christ. 

There goes all of Peter’s hopes and dreams, then — gone. Just like that. 

“Guess I’m going to community then,” Peter said, furrowing his eyebrows. “That’s stupid.” 

“No, kid, ‘course you’ll go to MIT. You’ll get a scholarship _easy_ , full ride.”

“I’m already in eleventh grade, Mister Stark,” Peter said, shaking his head. “I could never pull that off.” 

“Course you can, Pete, I managed to do it! You’re a kid-genius. Besides, if they knew who you worked for…” 

Quickly, Peter shook his head, “no, no, I’m not- I don’t want to do that, Mister Stark, but thank you anyways.” 

Pepper let out a soft sigh, giving Tony a look of warning which made him promptly end the conversation. 

“I want to get into college like everybody else,” Peter said quickly, “because I’m smart, right? That’s how everyone else gets into their colleges. I want to be like everybody else.” 

“Good. I wish everybody thought like you,” Pepper laughed, while Tony simply rolled his eyes. “It’s true! Some kids would die to get into a school because of their connections to someone like Tony. I’m glad you want to do it because you know you're good.”

Peter smiled to himself, humming in response to Pepper. 

“Come eat, kid.” 

After the three of them ate lunch, Peter slipped away to the guest bedroom and immediately pulled out his phone to research colleges nearby. With everything that's been happening as of late, he’d totally forgotten he’d need to start looking into schools, given he’s going to be a senior next year and will need a few options. Of course he wanted to go to a big school like MIT, but there’s no way he could pay thirty or fourty _grand_. 

Per year! 

Peter had gathered a fair collection of addresses and websites including Queensborough, maybe LaGuardia? Somehow through his researches, he got to YouTube — more specifically, on acceptance videos. Harvard, York, Duke…MIT?

He couldn’t believe he’d never even get a chance to receive one of those emails. Sure, if he asked Mister Stark, he’d get one in a heartbeat, but never on his own. He’d never be able to pay it all. 

God, all of these kids looked so damn happy. Good for them, he supposed, except he couldn’t help the jealousy bubbling inside of him. Why did he deserve this? 

What did Peter ever do to deserve the life he’s gotten? 

Nothing, he thought as he slipped his phone into his pocket, eyes welling with tears. 

He didn’t deserve this life. Not the good or bad from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i please hc peter looking at those stars in his room after endgame and imagining tony in space all alone and feeling so helpless and little :))


	13. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony finally finds out peter’s big secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (slight trigger warning for crying and almost panic attacks)
> 
> hoooo boy this is it ,, it’s the big ol chapter we’ve all been waiting for
> 
> thanks for sticking it out through this story of 20k shitty, self-projecting writing guys, it really does mean the world to me !!! i’ve poured my heart and soul into this story and this chapter especially and i just !!! rly hope u guys like it aaaa
> 
> without further ado i guess,,, 
> 
> here we go !

“Boss, Mister Parker seems to be in distress. He is located in the guest bedroom on the top floor.”

Tony glanced at Pepper, confusion evident on his face — he hadn’t heard any blood-curdling screams coming from Peter’s bedroom, nor had there been any signs of some sort of break-in, so why the hell was he in distress _now_? 

“What the hell?” He muttered out loud, looking up to the ceiling. “What’s wrong with him? Is he injured?” 

“No, sir, he appears to be physically well. Mister Parker is currently experiencing a prolonged, elevated heart rate, breathing rate and is trembling.” 

Tony let out a sigh, glancing at Pepper once again. That was FRIDAY’s way of saying someone was crying and had been for a while. What did he do? “Go, Tony,” she said softly, “now.”

So, he did. 

As Tony arrived outside Peter’s door, he stopped mid-knock. He’d never really needed to comfort Peter before outside of injuries on missions, nor had he ever seen Peter cry out of sadness or discomfort. Tony thought he wouldn’t have the heart to see him, but that was quickly proven to be less important as he found himself pushing the door open, moments later. “Kid?”

Peter froze, immediately quieting down. He couldn’t decide between sniffling or clearing his throat to respond because either one would completely give it away, so he opted for wiping his nose on his sleeve and giving a Tony a low hum in response. 

Tony slipped into the room, shutting the door behind him. It wasn’t like there was anybody out there to hear them, but he figured maybe it’d make Peter feel a bit better. “FRI said you were crying, I figured I’d come and see what happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Peter said thickly, throwing his forearms over his face so Tony didn’t see him. “M’fine.” 

Tony hesitated, sighing to himself. “Kid,” he muttered, sitting down at the foot of Peter’s bed. “No offence, but, uh, obviously you’re not.” 

Peter shakily inhaled a deep breath through the gap between his arms covering his face and shook his head. “Everything fucking sucks.” 

Looking over at Peter, suddenly much more concerned than before, sputtering in response. Way to be blunt. 

To say Tony was concerned by something so uncharacteristic of Peter was the understatement of the century, surely. “Uh, care to elaborate…?” 

“Not really.” 

“That, uh, wasn’t a really hypothetical question, Pete. You can’t just tell me _everything fucking sucks_ and then leave me hangin’, kid.” 

Peter sniffled, pulling up the blanket to his face and turning on his side towards the wall, away from a Tony. He curled into as tight a ball as he could, trying his best to stabilize his breathing to a normal rate, to next to no avail. He was certainly not cried out, apparently. “I just did,” he muttered into the thick fabric against his mouth, sniffling once again. 

Tony’s never read a manual on how to deal with emotional teenagers; he’d never gone onto those shitty websites for advice that talked like they knew a guardian’s entire situation, particularly because he’d never needed to. Peter was hands-down the strongest person he knew, and he rarely showed any sort of displeasure or emotion that teetered towards negative. How the hell was he meant to handle this? He’d handled his teenage angst with either getting drunk, high or both, and he’d hardly ever cried when he probably should’ve. He was at a loss. 

“No, kid, seriously,” Tony said, looking down to Peter. His heart sunk in his chest. This kid didn’t deserve whatever this was, surely. “Up, up, we’ve gotta talk about this, Pete.” Tony patted Peter’s leg a few times in efforts to coax him into sitting up. 

“I’d really rather not, Mis’er Stark,” Peter mumbled, hiccuping halfway through his sentence. “Jus’ wanna lay here and be sad for a bit and then I’ll be fine.” 

Tony sighed. He couldn’t just leave Peter here to cry all alone, especially because he was sure that when Peter was upset, he was _upset_. 

He didn’t know what to say, though. Three years ago, he never would’ve expected to take on the role of a semi-parent to anybody, nevermind this near-perfect kid who was probably trying to take on the whole world on his own, so he was…speechless. What do you do now? “Why don’t you want to talk about it?” 

There. It was a start, at the very least. 

“Because everything is stupid and I hate everything, therefore I guess it’s stupid, too.” 

Tony sighed again. “Peter,” he said, his voice edging on stern, “you have to talk to me. This isn’t…this isn’t normal, kid. You can’t talk like that and not expect me to be concerned?” 

Where could Peter even fucking _start_ to come clean? There was a million things on his mind that he was keeping from Tony, and he would really rather not be a blubbering mess in front of his idol. “I don’t know what to tell you besides everything is awful.” He hiccuped, curling closer into the blanket. 

“Maybe start with what made you start crying in the first place…?” 

Tony sat patiently waiting for Peter to respond, which made him hopeful he’d have an answer that wasn’t both incredibly vague and very concerning. 

“College,” Peter mumbled and Tony’s stomach dropped. He was at least partially the reason Peter was feeling like hell right now? Awesome. 

“What about college?” 

“I was watching those stupid videos,” Peter sniffled, “the ones where those stupidly smart kids get into those insane schools and I know I’ll never be like them.” 

With that, Peter felt fresh tears stream down his face into the blankets and he had to restrain himself from being too obvious with his noises. This was fucking humiliating enough, he thought, and crying about it in front of Tony? 

Pathetic. 

“Pete, sit up, please,” Tony said, shutting his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t believe Peter didn’t think he was good enough to get into college. That’s…utter insanity to Tony, honestly. 

Slowly but surely, Peter shifted to an upright position, trembling into himself. It was evident he was crying into the blanket he kept securely to his face and Tony didn’t know what to do besides mourn for the kid. Surely this must be bigger than just not thinking he’s good enough to get into college…right? 

“Can I touch you?” Tony asked hesitantly, but before he knew it, Peter was collapsing into his chest, choking back sobs as he squeezed his arms tightly around Tony’s shoulders. The action, sure enough, made tears form in Tony’s eyes. “Kid-”

“I’m never going to go to MIT, Mister Stark,” Peter choked out, body still shaking with sobs against Tony, “and I’m not going to be able to go to Columbia, or fucking _anywhere good_ , no matter how smart I am, I’m going to have to go to a shitty community college in Queens like fucking Queensborough, and I’m going to have to take shitty classes that I could ace in my sleep and I’ll graduate and I’ll have to become a shitty doctor or lawyer or something and I don’t _fucking_ want that-” 

“Peter!” Tony shimmied his way out of Peter’s grasp, trying his best to stabilize Peter’s breathing before he sent himself into a panic attack — or Tony, a heart attack. “Peter, you need to listen to me, alright?” 

Peter curled into himself when a Tony pushed him off, shaking his head, “you can’t do anything about it, it’s what-” 

“It’s damn well not what’s going to happen, Peter, and you need to relax and listen to me before you have a panic attack, okay? Listen to my voice, Peter,” Tony couldn’t help but feel like he was making it worse, but he had to keep reminding himself that couldn’t possibly be the case — getting your issues out is better than keeping them in, no matter how ugly it is. “Listen to me, kid, kept breathing, alright? You’re okay, kid,” Tony said quickly, thinking back to how Pepper coaxed him out of having panic attacks himself. She continuously talked and talked until he was finally well enough to explain himself, so he figured that ought to work with Peter, too? 

It took Tony a few solid minutes of rambling to finally convince Peter that it was alright to breathe, but he finally did, and Peter was the left with a beet-red face and tears still streaming. It was better than before, though — worlds better. 

“Are you feeling better, kid?” Tony asked, to which Peter simply nodded ever-so-slightly. 

Thank God. 

“Can we talk about what you said earlier, or do you not feel good enough yet?” 

“I really can’t go to a college like that, Mis’er Stark, I just-”

Tony shook his head quickly, raising a hand. “If you’re about to tell me you can’t go to a college because you don’t think you’re smart enough to get in, you are _gravely_ mistaken, Peter-”

Peter took a deep breath, and his stomach filled with butterflies. This was it, he supposed. 

Mister Stark already knew half the story, so now he needed to find out the rest. 

The rest of the story that he’s been trying his damn hardest to just take to his grave. 

“That’s not it, Mis’er Stark, I damn well know I can get into them easily.” 

“What is it, then, kid?” 

Peter opened his mouth to say it, just a few words — _we can’t afford to send me to school_ , but nothing came out. He couldn’t do this. 

“We- we can’t afford it.” 

Tony tensed immediately when Peter spoke, shutting his eyes momentarily. “I- kid, we can help you with that, that’s what being an intern here is for, Peter.” 

“I’m not…” Peter started, then shook his head. “I can’t have you guys paying hundreds of thousands of dollars on me for school, that’s-”

“What an internship here is for, Peter. You wouldn’t be the first intern, and certainly won’t be the last one to need tuition help for their colleges.”

“I was going to say absurd, and I’m still going to say absurd. You can’t do that for me-”

Tony shook his head, looking directly at Peter. “Is that all this was? I, uh, while your emotions are valid and whatnot, can’t really believe that you were so hung up on college — which is still almost to years away — when you have help at your disposal, kid…” 

Peter bit his lip. On one hand, he could say yes and still have the majority of his secret still flawlessly covered, but then Tony would for sure be suspicious in the future. 

On the other hand… 

“No.” 

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. He hadn’t expected that to be so easy. “What else is bothering you, Pete?” 

“What isn’t?” Peter said sarcastically, taking a deep breath. “Everything is bothering me. I don’t even know where to fucking start-”

“Maybe why you’re swearing so much?” 

Through red, puffy eyes, Peter shot Tony a glare — if looks could kill… 

“Just saying! I’ve never heard you swear as much as you have in the past half hour,” Tony shrugged, “but really, please — enlighten me, young one.”

Peter rubbed at his eyes, letting out a shaky laugh, “Okay, Thor-”

“Hey, he’s a good guy!” 

“I’m aware. Way better than Iron Man. Who even _is_ he?” 

“He’s sitting here, waiting for you to stop stalling and to tell him what’s really wrong?”

Peter rolled his eyes, “clever bitch.” 

“Peter-”

“I mean that in the nicest way possible!” 

“I’m sure you do. Now, get talking, kid.” 

With that, Peter nodded. “Being…being a superhero is so hard. It is _so fucking hard_ , Mister Stark, I really don’t know how you voluntarily made yourself Iron Man. When I was fifteen, I was so excited to be part of this, part of this group _Gods_ like you and Black Widow and Captain America and stuff, but now…I don’t think I’d choose to have been enhanced- if I had the option, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have taken it, not in a heartbeat, I think. I-I mean, like, don’t get me wrong, I am _so grateful_ for the opportunities I’ve gotten, and maybe it’s worth it in the long run, but it’s so _horrible_ sometimes, I…I was Spiderman when Uncle Ben died, and I could’ve fucking helped, I could’ve helped him, ut I didn’t- ‘nd now, here we are, and everything at home without him is- it’s just _fucking awful_.” 

Tony’s mouth opened — maybe to try and comfort Peter, he didn’t know — but nothing came out. “Peter, I-”

“We- we don’t have the apartment anymore, Mis’er Stark,” Peter said, voice significantly quieter, “and we haven’t since the beginning of December. If Ben- if he was here, we’d be alright still, we’d be okay, I-I wouldn’t need to wonder when I get to see May next and I wouldn’t need to be keeping our important stuff _here_ , in _your_ drawers, and a i wouldn’t need to pretend to be living at the apartment whenever Happy came or dropped me off and I’d maybe go to a nice school and…”

After that, Tony didn’t hear words. He…he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to do. 

Had he failed Peter? Had he failed one of the most important people to him in the world? By not noticing? By failing to help when he could? By not even bothering to look for the clues sooner? 

He truly was sick, he figured, he was just like his dad was. His dad wouldn’t have bothered to look for Tony’s painful secrets when he was a teenager, and that’s just what he did to Peter. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid with this kid — this perfect kid who didn’t deserve any of what he was doing through — and now it was — inevitably, probably — here and he…he didn’t know what to do, or say, or feel. 

“Mis’er Stark?” 

“I really don’t know how to apologize,” Tony admitted, eyes brimming with tears once again. “I have done you so wrong, Peter, and I should’ve realized something was wrong the moment it happened- I am so sorry, kid..” 

“It’s not your fault, Mis’er Stark, really — I don’t think it’s anybodies, except mine, distantly, and I tried so hard to keep it hidden from you, I-I don’t want to be that kid. I don’t want to be the poor kid, and I figured…if I hid it, it’d go away. Or at least, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about it-” 

“Stop,” Tony said quietly, shaking his head, “it’s not your fault, Peter. I should’ve noticed sooner- you know we could’ve helped you, kid.”

“I-I didn’t want to be a charity case, ‘nd you already do so much for me…there’s no way I wanted to, like, try and use you for money or anything. I couldn’t do that.”

Tony wondered if he’d do the same thing. When he was a teenager, he was an awful person — plain and simple. At seventeen — had he actually been homeless and had a rich mentor that’d be more than willing to provide him anything he needed — he probably would’ve asked and gotten more than enough for his family. But Peter? No wonder he didn’t talk to Tony about this. Peter was a good kid. 

He had a painfully good heart. 

“I’m here for you for stuff like this, Pete,” Tony said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really glad you told me about this. It takes…a lot of courage, kid. Would you be angry with me if I talked to May?” 

Peter shrugged. “She wanted to tell you herself. Or at least, uh, encouraged me to tell you. A long time ago.” 

Tony nodded silently. “I hope…I hope you know you can take a break when you need, kid. You can take a break from Spiderman and everything if you need, got it?”

 

“I think I take back what I said before, ‘cause Spiderman does make really me happy most of the time,” he said quietly, looking up at Tony. “I-I really like helping people. Even if it’s not to the scale of what you guys do, y’know? It still makes me feel good. It’s just when I can’t help them, then it gets...really hard to deal with.”

Tony nodded again. God, he knew that feeling all too well. All of the Avengers did. It was just something you had to deal with, as unfortunate as it was.“Sometimes being a superhero is pretty awful, huh? You can’t ever save everyone and sometimes it’s too much. I think…I think you’re doing the right thing though, Peter, with being Spiderman. I really do…and as much as I hate to say this, I think you’d be wildly different if Ben was still alive, and probably not…not in the best way. Sure, he’d be here and that’d be great, but now you know pain, kid, like nobody else, and Ben’s death…that taught you that feeling, right?” 

With that, Peter nodded, letting out a wet laugh. “No kidding.”

“If you had these powers and you didn’t know what the need to help people was like, like the need you felt to help Ben, you might be off doing terrible things with them. Not like you’re that kind of kid, but…these kinds of things hold a lot of responsibility that most people — even adults — don’t understand, but you’re…” Tony smiled at Peter softly, “you’re different, you’re doing better than anyone could’ve ever imagined.”


End file.
